Apparently, Marnax has decided that I need to either join you guys, or he'll kill me. The threat's a pretty hollow one, since I have no clue how he would find me in the first place. I suppose he could try tracking me through an IP or something, but good luck, I'm behind seven proxies.
Why do so few of you seem to understand? I'm not against you guys. I only work for The Boss because it's safer. I don't even do much. I just hack a blog now and then and gather info on who's alive and who's dead. And hey, it's public, so it's beneficial to you as well.
I feel for you guys. I really do. But don't lump me in with another mindless slave or insane madman who wants nothing more than to cut open your throat, bathe in your blood, and lick it off your corpse. And even if I were, they're nothing like that. Most aren't the mindless drones you take them for, and even the ones who are mindless drones aren't all bad.
I met a guy who started about the same time as me. He called himself Hyde. He said the only real reason he was working for The Boss was because he wanted to get closer to observe him. He found The Boss strangely terrifying and compelling. But then there were other times where he started talking about how terrified he was and how he shouldn't be here, and he started talking about someone named Erin and how he was responsible for her death. The way he talked about here during those vulnerable moments makes me think he was punishing himself for that more than anything.
He never gave me his name. He said that he abandoned it. The guy completely abandoned his identity, and I think that it's for the same reasons: he felt guilty about that person's death. He changed my perception of what it was like to work for The Boss, and he just so happened to be the first death I had to report. Killed by Zero, a guy who claims to be on your side but murders you because he thinks your bones will help defeat The Boss (trust me, they won't). And do you know what you all did? You cheered Zero on. You praised Zero for killing a kid who was lost, scared, and alone.
There's another guy I knew. He called himself William. He was one of those mindless drones--you know, the ones who have no will of their own. I know that he called himself William, but that's all I know about him. That's all I need to know. Do you know why? Because that's all he ever told me. His name. Most of the time he was a quivering wreck, looking empty and just stumbling through his duties. But there was one time when I saw the glint of light in his eyes. That one time when he was a person again and not just a shell. One time when he was actually thinking for himself. We locked eyes, and he spoke, loudly and clearly. I had only heard him mumble prior to that. He said "my name is William. Don't forget my name." He was so scared and desperate as he said it. He stumbled off, telling everyone he could what his name was. I think I know why, too. Ten minutes after he said it, he was walking around like a hollow shell again, unaware of anything going on around him. I tapped him on the shoulder and said "hey, William," and he looked at me in surprise. I tried making small talk, but nothing I said seemed to make sense to him. I tried again an hour later, and he wouldn't even respond to his name.
Two days later, I saw him again. He was dead. The Boss didn't kill him, he hadn't been on the front lines, and he didn't seem to have any injuries or illnesses. Call me crazy, but I think he died from a lack of identity. He gave me his name so that someone knew he had identity. I think he thought that if enough people knew who he was, he'd know who he was. Well, it didn't work. Almost no one remembered his name, and those who did never told him. A nameless man tried giving his name to other nameless people. Why should they remember someone else's identity when they can't even remember their own.
You know what the worst part was? A few days later, another, different man, came up to me and told me his name was William, and told me not to forget that. Notice that I said that the man I had met earlier called himself William or said that his name was William. I don't even know if that was actually his name. Maybe he stole someone else's identity just so that he could have one of his own.
These are the types of people you're fighting. Misguided, confused souls who don't even know who they are anymore. People like Hyde, who seek death. People like William, who have had their minds utterly destroyed and don't know who they are anymore. People like me, who are just trying to protect someone. We're not your enemies. We're victims. And sure, there are some legitimate psychos who willingly choose to kill people on behalf of The Boss, but even some of those aren't bad people. They've been wronged and want revenge. They're legitimately insane and need help, not a bullet in the brainpan. They just chose the wrong side on accident or are under The Boss's control without even realizing it. True, there are people who are honestly true enemies, but they're the minority.
So why make death threats? Why threaten to kill us? What do you gain from killing one more person who can't even think for themself?
We're already dead. Try bringing us back to life instead.
-Don't Shoot The Messenger-