Justice

The Path took me somewhere today.  It's the only time it's taken me to another location.

I emerged in the church I first met Eternity in.

He was there.

I had known this, of course.  I had come dressed in a simple dark cloak, in contrast to his flashy robe, intending to mock him.  To let him know that I would be the one to end him.  His arrogance had driven the organization into the ground and I would pull it from its disrepair.

All his previous bravado was gone, however.  He still wore that purple robe over jeans and a t-shirt and looked about the same as always.  But he reacted...differently.  He was far more serious about everything.

"I've been expecting you, Alan," he said.

"So you know I'm here to kill you."

He closed his eyes and smiled, but the smile wasn't smug or sarcastic.  It was...somehow genuine.  "Yes.  Just as I intended to kill Azrael.  You know why you're here now, don't you, Alan?"

"To take your place."

"And you know why I call you Alan now?"

I nodded, pieces of a larger puzzle I had not quite been able to grasp slowly interlocking in my mind.  "Yes."

"So, Alan.  Tell me."  He looked up at me.  "What shall I call you now in my final moments?  Who are you?"

Another piece fell into place.  "I am Justice."

He nodded somberly.  "Good.  Good.  I've been waiting to hear that name for months.  You've finally found it.  Are you willing to listen to a dead man's final words?"

"Go on."

He took a deep breath and started started speaking, pacing slowly as he did.  Slowly, but with deliberation.  Not flourish.  "I'm incredibly sorry for everything.  If there was another way to do things, I would have.  But you had to break.  It was the only way.  You had to see the darker side of those close to you.  You had to lose people."

He sighed.  "You came here to kill me.  But you won't.  I didn't kill Azrael, though I wish it was that easy.  The Slender Man will come to claim me, just as he came to claim Azrael.  Just as he'll come to claim you when your successor comes.  He'll also come for something from you.  I'm sorry, Justice.  I wish it weren't so.  But you'll have to pay a price.  Some lose a limb or two.  Some lose an emotion.  But every Oracle pays a price."  He fell silent for a moment.  "I had to as well.  You have to be a broken man to be an Oracle.  You have to break yourself."

"And what price was that?" I asked him.

He was silent for a moment.  "I used to be in a situation like yours, Justice.  I was a noncombatant in all of this.  Removed from any major conflict.  And like you, when the time came, I knew what I needed to sacrifice.  I asked...I asked them to bring me a homeless person.  Someone not on our side or their side.  An innocent.  A bystander in this whole war, but someone whose absence wouldn't be missed.  They...brought me a girl.  She couldn't have been more than ten years old.  I knew I had to...I had to give up my innocence.  I had to make myself a murderer.  A monster.  And I had to...I killed her with my bare hands."  He started laughing, his hand gripping half of his face as he looked at me with one wild eye and his mad laugh's crescendo grew.  "But that's not all.  Noooooo, that wasn't all I did.  I had to make sure I was really truly broke her.  So before that, I raped her.  I raped and killed her.  By my own choice.  I hated every second of it but I forced myself to do it because I knew I had to.  And every month I killed another.  Did brutal things.  Because that's what I had to give up.  My innocence in all of this.  And you'll have to give something up too.  Something to break yourself."

I fell silent for a while.  "I've already lost plenty."

"That helps.  I lost almost nothing.  But what you've already lost won't be enough for him."

"I killed her.  Worse.  I forced her into a fate worse than death."

"As much as everyone blames you and you blame yourself, you're not the only one at fault.  There has to be something, Justice."

I paused.  "She's still alive.  But I'll never see her again.  I can't let myself."  I looked up at him.  "He'll take my sight."

He nodded.  "And you know the visions that will come with that?"

I gave a heavy sigh and nodded.  I knew what would happen if I lost my sight.  "Yes.  I know."

"Good.  That will do."  He turned so I couldn't see his face.  "I know I've failed.  It went well for a while but ultimately, I fell like we all do.  So now I have another price to pay.  It's your time now, Justice."  He began swaying slightly.  "He's...he's coming.  I can feel it.  It's time for me....  I know you'll do well, Justice.  Good luck."

And then The Boss appeared before us, stepping towards Eternity, his body swelling and swallowing the man's up.  He then turned to me, and everything faded to black.  And I struggled to regain consciousness until I revealed that I wasn't asleep or dreaming.  It was reality and my sight was gone.

I am Justice now.  I am Messenger no longer but an Oracle.  I'll need an aide now to help me with a few things, but for now, Tempest, my old Handler, has agreed to type this up for me, now that my world is dark.

I have to go for now.  I have a lot of work to do.  I'll be back, though.  There are still things unsaid, but I need to take care of some business before that is possible.

But only once.  The Messenger is gone.  His replacement should be showing up soon.  But me?  Justice?

I have no reason to have anything to do with you people anymore.

It is Decided

This organization is a fucking mess.

Everyone is fighting and dying and the whole thing is collapsing.

I know what I must do.

Time to begin my final preparations

Business

I updated that post about the dead people (I'm not going to link it, it's right on the blog, first post of the year) and the list the other day, even if I only got around to mentioning it now.  Irritating, as always, especially because the idiots who feed me information haven't been feeding me enough (and sometimes the info is even flat-out wrong).  So please, if any of you have, you know, first-hand information or can correctly identify a dead body so that the more incompetent of the Trackers in the field don't feed me bad or incomplete information, be my guest.

And if you even think of dropping off the radar by having one of your friends say "Oh, yeah, I identified the body, he/she's dead," then keep in mind that I'm in close contact with at least one dedicated Tracker and one dedicated Hunter, and so help me, if you feed me bad information, I will do everything within my power to make sure you start move straight up to the top of their lists.

Anyway, that's taken care of.  On to a few future matters of business.

I got in touch with...that one kid, whatever his name was.  Glasses.  I'm going to be doing an interview with him soon.  In addition, I have a few people I met with/will meet with, whose identities and times of meeting are temporarily being withheld and are, ultimately, unimportant.  It's just business, and it's probably not even going to be worth mentioning.  However, I do plan on meeting with Eddie again soon.

And on the non-business front, Screwtape is...not doing anything.  I'm not even joking.  Basically, he says he hasn't changed his methods before, and he's not going to suddenly do it now.  I talked to Eternity about the situation, and he laughed me off with a "Honestly, Alan, what makes you think it even matters to me?"  And then he said something about all three of us being replaceable.  So I guess it's back to the drawing board.  I know I've got the support of most of you, but obviously, I'm not going to be able to say anything about any of my plans.

So that's what you've got to look forward to: an interview with the Glasses guy (and maybe Ginger if he's around), and a meeting with Eddie and the husks.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

A Thanksgiving Gathering

Well, I think I can say that this has been the absolute worst Thanksgiving ever.


Before we start, let me say that I've got a lot to talk about.  This might be a bit belated or get split into multiple parts.

Jacob decided that he'd prepare us a Thanksgiving meal.  I don't know why the hell he thought it was a good idea, but he insisted, and hey, free food.  Not like we can usually afford to eat like kings.  I think I've lost about twenty pounds in the last half a year or however long it's been.

I think I would have preferred leftovers.  Wouldn't have been as good, but it would have been better than what we usually get and we wouldn't have had to socialize.  Getting about forty people with varying levels of sociopathy together (Around fifteen "agents" and twenty-five "hollowed" or "broken" or whatever you want to call them) is probably not a good idea.

Yeah, there's about forty of us that Jacob funds.  We all fit in the rich bastard's house pretty well.  Talked to a few people, and it sounds like half of the total funds go to this man named Eddie.  He's...I think the term he used was a "Caretaker."  Basically, he's responsible for overseeing the...the ones that can't take care of themselves.  I still never know what to call them.  Apparently, Eddie has a job similar to the one Andrew had.  I think he's probably the most "normal" of anyone I've met who's here of their own accord.  It's obviously hard on him, though.  He has very hard eyes.  That's the only way I know how to describe them.  Eyes that look like he's seen so much that nothing bothers him anymore, and if it does, he can't outwardly emote.  Things I'm thankful for, #1: my job isn't nearly as stressful as Eddie's.

Didn't get to talk to Eddie that much.  I only saw him for a few minutes with everyone else, then he went to a separate area of the house to keep an eye on the ones he's supposed to keep an eye on.  Visited him there for a few minutes to ask about his job, but it didn't last very long.  He kicked me out pretty quickly.  He didn't seem too happy I was there (even though I told him I was just curious about his job and his...charges, I guess), but I convinced him to give me his contact information.  Might go talk to him again later.  Don't think he likes me, but he seemed to want to talk to Poe some.  Curious as to how things were going.  She seemed more intent on avoiding him.

Anyway, that left about fourteen of us, plus Jacob and Eternity, sitting around and eating and...doing other Thanksgivingy stuff, I guess.  Eternity's not funded by Jacob (pretty sure he's on some higher level of funding) but showed up anyway for some reason.  Maybe we were the only group who had a Thanksgiving gathering, maybe he gets along well with Jacob, or maybe he just wants to fuck with me or something, but for whatever reason, he was there.  Gave me that same patronizing routine, so I tried to avoid him as much as I could.

Watched the game with some others for a while before eating.  Eternity and Theta both watch football, apparently.  Theta's kind of strange about it, though.  Just sits there and stares at the screen.  Doesn't talk.  Doesn't cheer.  I have no clue which team he was going for, or if he even had a preference.  Gave up on watching after finding out that Eternity's a Packers fan (wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing then that we were going for the same team), and decided to use the opportunity to talk to some other people more.  Besides, Poe refused to leave my side, and I have the feeling she wasn't exactly enjoying the game.

Glasses came up to me at one point.  Turns out he calls himself Muad'Dib (and I only know how to spell that incredibly stupid name because of Poe).  Anyway, Muad'Dib comes up and starts talking to me.  Says he recognizes me and that I'm a friend of Nee-chan's, right?  I can't really say that Nee-chan's a "friend," exactly, but I nod.  He starts sighing and talking about how cute she is and how lucky I am to be so close to her.  Asks if I think he has a chance.  I'm not sure this guy remembers the night he and Ginger had to pin her down (speaking of Ginger, didn't get the chance to talk to him at all and ask for his name.  He mostly stood off to the side the entire night, with what looked like a grimace on his face).  I reminded him of how unstable Nee-chan is, and how he should know that, having experienced it firsthand.  The kid must be a dumbass, because he looks at me and says this, verbatim:

"Well, yeah, but look at her.  I mean, she's probably all sorts of kinky.  She's gotta be a freak in bed."


I may be wrong, but something tells me neither of those kids has gotten laid in their life.

Muad'Dib started talking to Poe some then.  I caught a few things from their conversation.  Apparently the kid's a pilot (I'd ask why the hell we need a pilot, but then I'd have to ask why the hell we need a hacker), and he's flown Poe around when they need to do more hands-on field tracking.  Apparently she's got an assignment coming up soon.  Speaking of which, Poe, would have been nice if you had mentioned that earlier.  Or, you know, at all.  But anyway, Muad'Dib takes a deep breath and heads over to talk to Nee-chan.  Don't know how it went, because I didn't stick around, but I guess I also don't really care.  If he has a chance with her, good for him.

I talked to a few other people, but I didn't have enough time to hold any sort of meaningful conversation or gauge them before the meal started.  I have no clue how exactly Jacob figured out the seating, but I could tell he was being pretty deliberate.  He put Nee-chan between Poe and Screwtape, for example, probably to keep Poe and Screwtape fairly close, but separated in a way that doesn't require them to look at each other.  I ended up between Poe and Muad'Dib.  Clearly, Jacob had gone out of his way to try to avoid conflicts.

A shame that it didn't work.

We ate in silence for a while.  Everything was fine.  And then Jacob said something about how he was hoping this could be an experience to bring us all closer together and how he'd like it if we at least tried to talk to each other.  That's when things sort of went to hell.

There were a few murmurs of conversation.  Couldn't catch most of it, but it sounded relatively normal.  Then things exploded.  As great as Jacob is, he clearly doesn't spend enough time around us.  Getting us all together is one thing.  Getting us all together and forcing us into conversation is going a bit too far.  You absolutely cannot get people like us together and expect the conversation to be anywhere near healthy.  You know that uncle who always makes family gatherings awkward because he's vocal about views no one else in the family holds, or something along those lines?  Well, imagine a big family where everyone's that uncle.

Screwtape started talking to Poe, telling her how happy she must be to see Eddie again after all this time.  Eternity started asking me how Kyle was.  Nee-chan brought up Morningstar, and apparently opinions on this new guy and his predecessor are pretty mixed.

Jacob decided to remove all the knives from the table pretty quickly.

Anyway, the whole thing degenerated into shouting matches until Eternity stood up and yelled something about us being a family and that we should be simply enjoying each other's company.  You can't tell from the syntax I used, but he used second person plural, not first person plural.  Bastard made a big show about caring about how much we get along, but didn't even include himself as "one of us."

After that, everyone pretty much stopped talking and just ate.  Except for one couple (didn't get their names or anything), and they didn't even talk.  Just acted all flirty with each other.  Fun facts about eating: Theta's apparently a huge eater, Screwtape eats very simply (he apparently only drinks water, didn't eat anything particularly sweet, and didn't add any additional seasonings), Nee-chan's kind of a picky eater, and apparently Ginger's a vegetarian.  After we finished eating, we took off.  Some said goodbye to others, some thanked Jacob as they went.  Others (Theta was the one I remember, but there were a few others) just stood up and left the table without a word.  The whole thing was  just...really awkward, like no one really wanted to be there.  Easily worse than any family gathering I've been to.

Let's hope that I don't have another thanksgiving like this for a long time.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Explaning some stuff

Jesus it was hard convincing Poe to write this up.  She keeps talking about how it's not right, how she shouldn't be writing anything, how she'll say something wrong...but whatever.  Here's what's been going on.

I do not want to blog about this. I don't want to blog at all, really. Messenger can't do it himself though, and he's asked me to do it for him. He really doesn't like being a liar, I guess. We got in a bit of a fight about it actually. Which is why I'm here writing this.

Screwtape has gotten worse. He's always scared me a little. Now he's even more intense than he used to be. He does seem a little less angry at me though, so I will take small mercies where I can get them.

After Messi's post about Eternity, Screwtape came over. I was not in the room, but I could hear them talking. Screwtape demanded that Messi take the post down, because it was just lies being spread around. He said Eternity was just trying to break him. This was a test of faith that Messi was losing.

I feel weird saying it, but I think I might agree with him. Eternity is pretty big here. He does exactly what he says he does. Even if he was just using us to forward his own goals, it seems strange to think that he would tell Messi this. That's assuming this was the real Eternity in the first place. I don't like doubting Messi, but the whole thing seems off.

He refused to take the post down. He claimed that Screwtape was just angry because his world was falling apart. They argued like this for a while, then Screwtape seemed to back down. That was when I heard a small snap, and Messi screamed. I ran into the room, but Screwtape was already gone.

That's how Messi broke his finger, and why he can't really type right now. He seems pretty upset about the whole thing, but I don't think he's going to be able to update very much until it heals. I don't think this is a bad thing. I thought that blogs would be a good thing. Really they just stir up trouble.

Still, it is sort of his job. Messenger will be back to this blog as soon as he can be.

So yeah.  Screwtape broke my fucking finger because I wouldn't take a post down.

I'm going to be laying low for a bit while the situation cools and my finger heals.  It hurts like hell, and you have no clue how unnatural it is to type while your ring finger is in a splint.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Edit: Okay, since I'm getting some questions, let me elaborate on a few things.  I'm not having a "religious crisis."  That's Screwtape, much as he'll deny it.  The "test of faith" phrase that keeps getting thrown around means that Eternity is trying to get in my head.  Break me down.  Test me.  You get it now?  Good.  Screwtape said the reason he broke my finger was "the cost for spreading uninformed rumors and causing dissent" or something like that.  He also said that I got the good end of the bargain.  My ass.

Okay some of the pain's gone so maybe now I can

No, fuck it.  Still hurts too much.  Gonna get Poe to explain sometime soon.

Don't worry.  Just my finger.  Which is broken.

Motherfucker that O key is common.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Meeting Big Brother

Well.

Um.  Well.

Okay.  I guess I should start.  Just get all of this out.

Big Brother gave me an address to meet him.  A church.  A big cathedral.  "I hope you don't mind; they just have a certain feel to them, you know?"  Of course.

Anyway, I got out to the church.  It was empty, but unlocked.  Big city like this, you'd think that churches would stay open and at least partially manned 24/7, but...I don't know.  Maybe he rented it or something?  I don't know, and it's not important.

Anyway, I entered the sanctuary, and there he was.  Sitting at the far end, at some sort of big ornate chair.  Sitting it in sideways, legs over the armrest.  Clapping slowly.

"Welcome, my friend!" he called out.  "Welcome!"

He was probably around my age, give or take a few years.  Fairly short, too.  Dressed in these big fancy deep purple robes. Black hair in need of a trim, and combined with the soul patch, he looked like a massive tool.  Lounging on the chair casually like he didn't have a care in the world.  The way he held himself, I was surprised there wasn't a loincloth-clad servant or two there feeding him grapes or fanning him with a giant palm frond.  He stood as I approached, and as the robes shifted, I caught a glance of what he was wearing underneath.  Jeans and a t-shirt.  Wonderful.

He held his hand out, giving me a smug grin.  I didn't shake it.  "Well, well, well, it certainly is an honor to finally meet, isn't it, Alan?"

Alan.  He called me Alan.  Why the hell would he call me Alan?

"The Messenger," I told him.

He shook his head and chuckled.  "Alan, Alan, Alan...why are you so opposed to your real name?  After all, we both know it already, so why not use it?  Oh, but I'm sorry!  You don't know who I am yet, do you?  You call me 'Big Brother,' and I think that it's time you use the name I go by now.  You may call me...."  And here he paused for a big sweeping bow.  "...Eternity."

He looked up and grinned, expecting some sort of response.  "Um...cool, I guess?  Look, can we skip the pleasantries?  I've got questions."

"Skip the pleasantries?  But Alan, the root of the word is 'pleasant.'  Are you against pleasant things?"

"Don't call me that."

"I'm sorry, does it bother you when I use your name?  It's just shorter than 'Messenger.'  I hope you don't mind if I continue to use it.  Let's call it my fee for answering your questions."

Smarmy bastard.

"Look.  What the hell do you want?  Why'd you bring me here?"

"Because you deserve to know."

"Know what?"

He stared off in the distance, putting on a thoughtful look.  "Hmmm...ask me something else.  Not quite ready to answer that one quite yet."

"Fine.  Why did you install video surveillance?  And where are you hiding the cameras?"

He burst out laughing.  "Oh, Alan.  Your paranoia is simply delicious.  There aren't any cameras.  Not now.  They sort of come and go.  That's why you couldn't find them.  There haven't been cameras in your room since before you checked.  And I don't know why you're asking me at all.  After all, I'm not the one who installed them."

"You...you're not?"

"Of course not.  I just had some agents do it for me.  I can get a lot of people to do a lot of things for me, actually.  In fact, I'm...how do I put this?  I'm well-known.  Well respected.  A 'big deal.'  I'm pretty sure you're only hearing my name for the first time, but all your friends or co-workers or whatever exactly you want to call them have probably heard of me."

I'll admit that that threw me.  Wasn't expecting someone well-known.  I sort of choked on my response a bit.

"Cat got your tongue, Alan?  You're...meaning to ask what I do, correct?"  I nodded.  "Well, I'm what I guess you'd call an 'Oracle.'  I'm not exactly the highest-ranked person, but even the highest-ranked sort of rely on me.  After all, when was the last time your Boss told you anything?  Someone has to understand and decipher the will of the Slender Man, don't they?  Someone a bit more...specially attuned to him."

"The...the Slender Man?"

He laughed.  "Oh, I'm sorry, Alan!  Would you feel more comfortable if I called him 'Father' or 'the Tall One' or 'He That Is' or something along those lines?  But why should I?  After all, that implies fear, respect, or awe.  And me?  What reason do I have to fear him?  What reason do any of us have to fear him.  Most of us--well, excluding your Annabel, of course--have never had any reason to.  He doesn't care about us.  Why do you think he agreed to that 'deal' you made with him so easily.  He probably just doesn't care enough about your brother Kyle to bother him.  He could turn on us for any second if we anger him for some reason.  But if he was going to rip me to pieces, he'd have done it already.  What reason do I have to fear him?  What reason do I have to respect him?  What reason do I have to be in awe?"

"So then...if he doesn't care about us, what fuck is all this for?  Why am I working for him?"

He gave me a smile and sighed.  "Looks like I put too much faith in your intelligence.  You don't get your orders from the Slender Man directly, do you?  They get passed down through other people whose job it is to pass down those orders.  And didn't I tell you that I'm the one who interprets his orders?  This little cult--and it is a cult--needs me to do anything.  Are you catching on now?"

"Hard as it is for your ego to accept it, let's assume that you just suck at explaining things."

"Ah, Alan, playing at the tough guy is unbecoming of you, especially considering just who it is you're talking to. But I'll humor you.  Now, I'm sure you've heard the term 'proxy.'  All these people using it to describe anyone on Ol' Slendy's side.  It's almost easy to forget that it's an actual word with an actual meaning.  Checked out Merriam-Webster's website before I came and memorized a definition for your sake.  "A person authorized to act for another."  One that works better is the concept of a proxy server, something I'm sure you're familiar with.  Going through another server--or in this sake, person--to do something."

"Yeah, it's kind of a dumb term in my opinion.  I wouldn't really say he controls me."

Eternity laughed.  "You don't get it, do you, Alan?  You're a proxy.  As much as you might dislike the term, you're a proxy.  Only thing is...you don't work for the Slender Man at all.  You're not his proxy.  You're mine."

I, naturally, had my snappiest response ready.

"What?"

"Alan, do you really think that a being who just might be omniscient and invincible has any pressing need for a person who hacks blogs?  I told you, I run this place.  I'm the one he talks to.  I'm the one who tells everyone what his will is.  These people--they think that I'm interpreting the orders of their god, willing to carry out his every move.  But who's to say I'm interpreting anything?  These people have it on faith alone."  He spread his arms wide.  "As far as I'm concerned...I'm their god.  By the way, Alan, you're staggering.  You might want to take advantage of that pew and sit."

I sat.  "So that's what this is all about, huh?  This is all a farce?  All of our lives...they're just some game to you?"

He started fidgeting with his fingernails, looking at them disinterestedly  "If you choose to see it that way--yes.  Yes, it's all a game.  I like to think of it more like seizing an opportunity, though.  You can't tell me that, if you were in my position, you wouldn't take advantage of it.  I'm sure you've been tempted to hack a blog now and then to twist their events to your satisfaction now and then.  Don't answer that, by the way.  We both know the answer already, even if you won't admit it."

"So...what now?  You know that I record pretty much everything now, right?  I started recording this from the moment I walked in.  And even if I didn't, I'd still remember enough to expose this."

"Oh, naturally.  And I'm sure everyone will believe you, too.  But really...what good would it do?  After all, how much of what I say is the Slender Man's word, and how much is my own?  There's a reason they chose me as an Oracle in the first place.  And no one would dare say that I'm making entirely selfish choices.  After all, whatever I do gets the job done, doesn't it?  And the fact that I'm not dead says a lot.  If the Slender Man were really all that opposed to what I was doing, do you think I'd still be here?  Maybe he trusts my word and I've been ordained as some sort of prophet.  Maybe the prophet, like I'm his right hand man."  He shrugged, giving me another one of his smug grins.  "And besides, ignoring all of that, if they decided to somehow dispose of me, where would they find another Oracle?  The whole cult--and yes, it is a cult--in this area sort of sprung up around me.  I'm indispensable.  So what now?  Well, now we part.  Go our separate ways.  I'll see you later, Alan.  Until then...have fun."

And that's...what we did.  I just left.  Walked out as he chuckled.

The last seven months of my life have been a lie. 

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-