Dodged that bullet....

Well, I was expecting April Fool's Day to be a disaster.  After all, you all remember Screwtape's Valentine's Day "gift."  Being around a bunch of socio/psychopaths on a day designed for pranks is just asking for trouble.

Fortunately, it went better than planned.  With Theta not really striking me as the pranking type, Screwtape and Caper dead, and nothing but silence from Eternity, the only person I was expecting a really dangerous prank from was Nee-chan.  Who was, once again, visiting to watch anime.  It's been a while since she's done that, and now that things have calmed down, Annabel and I figured it was a good idea to invite her over again.

She brought a full backpack, which kind of worried me.  After a while I forgot about it (no use being paranoid), and we stopped paying attention to her.

It turns out Nee-chan likes pranks.  But isn't very creative.  After she left, I realized that Annabel and I had to spend the rest of the day cleaning up the toilet paper strewn all over the kitchen.  And the Saran Wrap over the toilet seat.  And the water that spilled all over the floor when I opened my bedroom door (none of the water actually hit me--only the bucket).

So happy April Fool's Day, I guess.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Holiday "Cheer"

Ho ho ho.  Happy fucking Holidays.

As Christmas approached, New York started to get insanely busy.  Might be my imagination, but it seemed busier than previous years.  Must be because everyone tried to make this year count, considering that the world’s evidently cockblocking us by exploding four days before the holiday actually hits next year.

And while everyone else was busy decorating everything and buying gifts and singing Christmas songs and writing Christmas letters, I’ve been busy juggling an incredibly tricky situation and writing about people who have died recently. 

I’m sure you’re all wondering what’s going on with Poe and those bruises.  Well, I, like an idiot, decided that the rational thing to do in a fit of panic was to freak out and post it where the world could see it.  It’s kind of habit to post anything I think is noteworthy here, and my brain didn’t make the jump from “this is something important” to “I should keep this between Poe and myself.”  I’ll explain more later once things around here die down some and once I’m free to talk about it, but the laconic and vague version is that Screwtape is, in one way or another, directly responsible for the bruises.  Because all three of us know that I’d press Poe for answers that she’d have to give to me, as soon as I posted he knew I’d find out, and we all know that you guys aren’t going to just glaze over this, so the secret’s basically out.  Which makes the whole situation difficult for all three of us, since we’re dancing around the topic.  The thing is, even though what Screwtape is doing isn’t right, we’re in a situation where we can’t exactly say that he’s in the wrong, and things are tense as we’re all waiting to see who makes the next move.

Poe and I spent Christmas in our apartment.  Didn’t really celebrate.  Not much reason to.  We invited Nee-chan to spend the day with us, though, mostly to bring some cheer to the place.  She’s pretty easy to shop for, especially with Poe to help figure out her more specific tastes.  Knives, anime, plushies, anything else related to anime or Japan…not exactly like I need to agonize over figuring out what she’d love.  It’s the nice part about shopping for obsessive people.

New Year’s Eve we’re probably spending alone at the apartment.  It’ll be nice to have the quiet.  Nee-chan’s mentioned something about spending time with some of Morningstar 1.0’s old crew, so she’s out of the picture.  Then we can finally move past this so-called “time of joy and cheer” and try to regain some normalcy in our routines.  You know, continue the standoff with Screwtape.  Figure out what the hell’s going on around me.  Cling to my fleeting sanity.  The usual.

I should have a post commenting on the recent deaths up soon.  I’ll update the list at that time.

-Don’t Shoot The Messenger-

A Thanksgiving Gathering

Well, I think I can say that this has been the absolute worst Thanksgiving ever.


Before we start, let me say that I've got a lot to talk about.  This might be a bit belated or get split into multiple parts.

Jacob decided that he'd prepare us a Thanksgiving meal.  I don't know why the hell he thought it was a good idea, but he insisted, and hey, free food.  Not like we can usually afford to eat like kings.  I think I've lost about twenty pounds in the last half a year or however long it's been.

I think I would have preferred leftovers.  Wouldn't have been as good, but it would have been better than what we usually get and we wouldn't have had to socialize.  Getting about forty people with varying levels of sociopathy together (Around fifteen "agents" and twenty-five "hollowed" or "broken" or whatever you want to call them) is probably not a good idea.

Yeah, there's about forty of us that Jacob funds.  We all fit in the rich bastard's house pretty well.  Talked to a few people, and it sounds like half of the total funds go to this man named Eddie.  He's...I think the term he used was a "Caretaker."  Basically, he's responsible for overseeing the...the ones that can't take care of themselves.  I still never know what to call them.  Apparently, Eddie has a job similar to the one Andrew had.  I think he's probably the most "normal" of anyone I've met who's here of their own accord.  It's obviously hard on him, though.  He has very hard eyes.  That's the only way I know how to describe them.  Eyes that look like he's seen so much that nothing bothers him anymore, and if it does, he can't outwardly emote.  Things I'm thankful for, #1: my job isn't nearly as stressful as Eddie's.

Didn't get to talk to Eddie that much.  I only saw him for a few minutes with everyone else, then he went to a separate area of the house to keep an eye on the ones he's supposed to keep an eye on.  Visited him there for a few minutes to ask about his job, but it didn't last very long.  He kicked me out pretty quickly.  He didn't seem too happy I was there (even though I told him I was just curious about his job and his...charges, I guess), but I convinced him to give me his contact information.  Might go talk to him again later.  Don't think he likes me, but he seemed to want to talk to Poe some.  Curious as to how things were going.  She seemed more intent on avoiding him.

Anyway, that left about fourteen of us, plus Jacob and Eternity, sitting around and eating and...doing other Thanksgivingy stuff, I guess.  Eternity's not funded by Jacob (pretty sure he's on some higher level of funding) but showed up anyway for some reason.  Maybe we were the only group who had a Thanksgiving gathering, maybe he gets along well with Jacob, or maybe he just wants to fuck with me or something, but for whatever reason, he was there.  Gave me that same patronizing routine, so I tried to avoid him as much as I could.

Watched the game with some others for a while before eating.  Eternity and Theta both watch football, apparently.  Theta's kind of strange about it, though.  Just sits there and stares at the screen.  Doesn't talk.  Doesn't cheer.  I have no clue which team he was going for, or if he even had a preference.  Gave up on watching after finding out that Eternity's a Packers fan (wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing then that we were going for the same team), and decided to use the opportunity to talk to some other people more.  Besides, Poe refused to leave my side, and I have the feeling she wasn't exactly enjoying the game.

Glasses came up to me at one point.  Turns out he calls himself Muad'Dib (and I only know how to spell that incredibly stupid name because of Poe).  Anyway, Muad'Dib comes up and starts talking to me.  Says he recognizes me and that I'm a friend of Nee-chan's, right?  I can't really say that Nee-chan's a "friend," exactly, but I nod.  He starts sighing and talking about how cute she is and how lucky I am to be so close to her.  Asks if I think he has a chance.  I'm not sure this guy remembers the night he and Ginger had to pin her down (speaking of Ginger, didn't get the chance to talk to him at all and ask for his name.  He mostly stood off to the side the entire night, with what looked like a grimace on his face).  I reminded him of how unstable Nee-chan is, and how he should know that, having experienced it firsthand.  The kid must be a dumbass, because he looks at me and says this, verbatim:

"Well, yeah, but look at her.  I mean, she's probably all sorts of kinky.  She's gotta be a freak in bed."


I may be wrong, but something tells me neither of those kids has gotten laid in their life.

Muad'Dib started talking to Poe some then.  I caught a few things from their conversation.  Apparently the kid's a pilot (I'd ask why the hell we need a pilot, but then I'd have to ask why the hell we need a hacker), and he's flown Poe around when they need to do more hands-on field tracking.  Apparently she's got an assignment coming up soon.  Speaking of which, Poe, would have been nice if you had mentioned that earlier.  Or, you know, at all.  But anyway, Muad'Dib takes a deep breath and heads over to talk to Nee-chan.  Don't know how it went, because I didn't stick around, but I guess I also don't really care.  If he has a chance with her, good for him.

I talked to a few other people, but I didn't have enough time to hold any sort of meaningful conversation or gauge them before the meal started.  I have no clue how exactly Jacob figured out the seating, but I could tell he was being pretty deliberate.  He put Nee-chan between Poe and Screwtape, for example, probably to keep Poe and Screwtape fairly close, but separated in a way that doesn't require them to look at each other.  I ended up between Poe and Muad'Dib.  Clearly, Jacob had gone out of his way to try to avoid conflicts.

A shame that it didn't work.

We ate in silence for a while.  Everything was fine.  And then Jacob said something about how he was hoping this could be an experience to bring us all closer together and how he'd like it if we at least tried to talk to each other.  That's when things sort of went to hell.

There were a few murmurs of conversation.  Couldn't catch most of it, but it sounded relatively normal.  Then things exploded.  As great as Jacob is, he clearly doesn't spend enough time around us.  Getting us all together is one thing.  Getting us all together and forcing us into conversation is going a bit too far.  You absolutely cannot get people like us together and expect the conversation to be anywhere near healthy.  You know that uncle who always makes family gatherings awkward because he's vocal about views no one else in the family holds, or something along those lines?  Well, imagine a big family where everyone's that uncle.

Screwtape started talking to Poe, telling her how happy she must be to see Eddie again after all this time.  Eternity started asking me how Kyle was.  Nee-chan brought up Morningstar, and apparently opinions on this new guy and his predecessor are pretty mixed.

Jacob decided to remove all the knives from the table pretty quickly.

Anyway, the whole thing degenerated into shouting matches until Eternity stood up and yelled something about us being a family and that we should be simply enjoying each other's company.  You can't tell from the syntax I used, but he used second person plural, not first person plural.  Bastard made a big show about caring about how much we get along, but didn't even include himself as "one of us."

After that, everyone pretty much stopped talking and just ate.  Except for one couple (didn't get their names or anything), and they didn't even talk.  Just acted all flirty with each other.  Fun facts about eating: Theta's apparently a huge eater, Screwtape eats very simply (he apparently only drinks water, didn't eat anything particularly sweet, and didn't add any additional seasonings), Nee-chan's kind of a picky eater, and apparently Ginger's a vegetarian.  After we finished eating, we took off.  Some said goodbye to others, some thanked Jacob as they went.  Others (Theta was the one I remember, but there were a few others) just stood up and left the table without a word.  The whole thing was  just...really awkward, like no one really wanted to be there.  Easily worse than any family gathering I've been to.

Let's hope that I don't have another thanksgiving like this for a long time.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Catching up

Okay, finger's not fully healed yet, but I think I can bear it long enough to stop in, since I know you're all so worried about me.

I'm fine.  Been keeping to myself, mostly.  Been working some, been reading some.  Watching a few of the people who do videos for certain reasons.  Been making a few Skype calls with a few people (who shall remain nameless) for reasons that are none of your concern.  You'd probably just be bored.

Poe's been a bit distant, lately.  Don't know what's going on.  I think she may be upset about me making her type that thing out before.  She's mad I made her blog, I'm mad she's siding with Screwtape on this, and we just haven't bothered really bringing it up.

Nee-chan's been coming over on Saturdays.  She's been really excited over this "Mirai Nikki" show that's just come out or something.  Forced Poe and me to watch it.  I'd have insisted on a dub, but apparently there isn't one yet, so I guess she's forced me into watching another one of those.  On the plus side, it's a pretty entertaining show.  Reminds me of Death Note in a lot of ways.  But anyway, she's been upset over the new Morningstar thing (you guys remember Morningstar, right?  Apparently there's a new Morningstar now).  Much more stable than when he died, though.

That reminds me, still need to figure out who the Glasses and Ginger guys who helped calm her down were.

As for pretty much everyone else, haven't seen them around, and I don't particularly care.  Except Donovan.  I'm kind of curious as to what happened to him.  He just sort of disappeared, and I haven't heard any sort of indication that he's dead yet.

Incidentally, some of you may be familiar with Dia.  She sometimes leaves comments here.  Sometimes they're stupid comments about how we apparently have some sort of orgy in this place every night (we don't).  But she's been nagging me about doing an interview with her, since apparently she wants me to be on the other side of the mic for once.  And because I guess I've got nothing else to do, I've stupidly agreed.  You can expect that when it's finished.  I'm also going to be trying to talk to Poe soon about Glasses and Ginger, and I guess just talking to her in general again.  Oh yeah, and trying to get the List of Deceased updated.  So take a look at that (I'm not going to link it when it's at the top of the page) and let me know if I've forgotten anyone for some reason.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Things are calming down some.  Unfortunately, they've been a little too calm and quiet.  There's been a heavy silence hanging over the apartment, and I think it largely has to do with a comment Screwtape left a few days ago in regards to Poe's role in that whole incident with the Nee-chan freak-out: 

"Messenger, you can promote your perception of things as much as you want to, but let me remind you that Raven was of absolutely no help. She caught Nee-chan's attention for perhaps a second and then did nothing else. Do not let your bias towards her and against me affect you. You know as well as I did that she did nothing but take up space that night. She could have at very least spoken to Nee-chan to attempt to calm her down. Only fitting, since dolls are quite well known for being able to comfort children."

I really don't want to admit it, but...well, he has a point.  I know it, and I think Poe knows it, and it's really just been a source of tension.

That's what today was for.  To relieve some of that tension.  For more than just us, too.  Theta showed up and dropped Nee-chan off, telling us to keep an eye on her.  I guess she's got a bit more free reign now.  Anyway, she was...she was trying to be smiley and cheerful.  But she wasn't.  I could tell it was forced.

So I spent an hour or two watching something called "Lucky Star" in Japanese, for her sake.

I didn't really like it (I couldn't really follow it, but I'm pretty sure that there wasn't much to follow, and it's quite possibly the dumbest show I've ever seen), but I guess this is about one of the most normal things I've done in a while, so I'm not complaining.  It seemed to improve everyone's mood some.  Nee-chan gave me a hug afterward.  Called me "Messi-kun," which she's never done before.  It's always been "Messenger-san."  Asked Poe what it meant, and she said that it meant Nee-chan started thinking of me as a friend.

And things seem a bit better in more ways at one.  As we watched, Poe just kind of...leaned up against my shoulder.  Like...I don't know.  Just...it felt like, after a heavy silence, we just...connected.  Got closer.  Things feel better now.  A sort of invisible rift mended.  Although I recognize that's usually a gesture of affection, and I...well, I mean, I know there's...we know what the situation is and everything, and it just seems...I don't know if it was right or not.

Whatever.  I'm dwelling on this.  I shouldn't be.  Most important part of the post now.

Big Brother contacted me.  Told me he'd call me again on Monday and invite me to where he was.  I'll have something up on Tuesday.  If not, expect me to be dead blah blah blah I'm sure I'll be back.  Don't worry.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Everyone else is completely batshit, too

First of all, check the Observe and Terminate report out so that it doesn't get lost in the shuffle.  I'd hate to write something for everyone and then not have anyone read it.

Done that?  Good.  Now let's go back to talking about how I've somehow ended up in a mental institution without wardens.

I decided that I'd go down to Screwtape and Nee-chan's room today after gathering some more information for the upcoming reports to check on Nee-chan and maybe see if I could arrange an interview with Theta.  Screwtape was attempting to clean up while Theta and Nee-chan were sitting on the remains of the couch.

Waved as I entered.  Asked Nee-chan how she was doing.  She just sort of crossed her arms and glared at me.

"Better," Theta told me.  "Still unstable, though.  Not to leave until she can control her emotions."

She stood up and started screaming at him about how she was in control and how she had to go and kill Mitch (the person who killed Morningstar apparently) because she was a bully and she kept going on and getting more and more agitated.

That's when Theta stood up.  Looked at her.  She started to trail off, fear in her eyes.  "You are not to leave this room," he told her.  And then he backhanded her.  Just...just hit a nineteen-year-old girl.  Smacked her down into the couch.  Screwtape glanced over, but otherwise didn't even react.

"But I have to," she said, looking up at him and sobbing.  He pulled her up, threw her to the floor.  "No," he told her, "you don't."  Picked her up, dragged her to a back room.  Shut the door behind him.

What the fuck.

I tried talking to Screwtape some.  Asked him what the hell was going on with that.  He said that it was just how Theta handled things.  Nothing out of the ordinary for him.  It didn't seem to bother him.  He said that it worked well enough and with someone as volatile as Nee-chan, and if he could control her, what business of it was his.

There was crying coming from the back room.  I didn't know how to handle it.  Screwtape didn't seem to care, and that made me a bit uncomfortable.  I...just left.  I don't know.  I feel now like I should have done something.  But what could I have done?  I can't exactly report this to the authorities.  That compromises everyone involved in this.  Brings in unnecessary investigation.  I can't exactly step in, considering that Nee-chan would probably be able to hold her own better than I could.  I could try to figure out who Glasses and Ginger are and get their help, but they probably wouldn't be able to hold their own against Theta either.  Screwtape wouldn't step in.

And then there's the fact that I never really expected I'd be worried about Nee-chan, either.  I don't know.  What the hell else goes on around me that I don't know about?  I mean, I'd probably notice if Screwtape was somehow abusing Poe, but I guess there might be stuff going on that she isn't telling me?  I just don't know anymore.

Almost enough to make me wish I was up against The Boss himself instead sometimes.  Almost.

Anyway, Morningstar and Maduin's reports should be up soon.  Morningstar's tomorrow for sure, Maduin's within the week, hopefully.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

My Ex-roommate is Completely Batshit

I think the title pretty much sums up the situation.

Earlier today, Screwtape stopped by.  Knocked on the door.  Seemed pretty urgent.  I opened the door and let him in.

"Messenger, Raven," he said, "Follow me to my apartment.  We need your help."

"What's going on?"

He looked at me and shook his head.  "You still know so little about your old roommate.  Just please, follow me."

So we followed him down the hall to the room.  Last time I had been there was...a while ago, I guess.  I might be remembering this wrong, but I don't think I'd been down to the room since that night Caper died.  But I don't want to get into that now because it brings up all sorts of bad memories and it's not important anyway.

As we got closer, I heard yelling and screaming.  Always a good sign.  Screwtape opened the door to reveal the apartment.  Remember how when The Boss tossed Caper around, the apartment was kind of a mess afterwards?  Well, evidently, he's more careful than Nee-chan, because the place was ripped up.  Nee-chan was storming around the apartment, pounding on walls, slashing at the furniture with a knife, throwing things around...it was bad.

Poe and I just sort of stood there in shock for a few seconds.  "When she found out about Morningstar's death she was...upset," Screwtape said.

There were these two guys about her age, maybe a little older, sort of scrambling around the apartment, unsure of how to deal with the situation, sort of shouting at each other.  Kid with glasses and a ginger.  Ginger told Glasses Kid to grab her and hold her back.  Glasses Kid shouted back how he was trying but "she's waving around a freakin' knife, man!"  He ducked a second later as a drinking glass shattered against the wall above his head.

Screwtape turned to us.  "Raven, try talking to her to get her attention.  Messenger, we'll get behind her and grab her arms.  You take left arm, I'll take right arm.  Right arm first so that the knife is out of commission.  I'll let the other two know to grab her legs once we have the arms restrained."

I just nodded.  He sounded like he knew what he was doing.  As Nee-chan walked into the bathroom and started shouting at the mirror, Screwtape briefed Glasses and Ginger.  And I just sat there for about three minutes as she screamed at herself.  During those three minutes, between bouts of "holy shit I am dealing with someone who has gone off the deep end," something occurred to me.

"Screwtape," I yelled, "Why is Poe the one distracting Nee-chan?  You're using her as bait, aren't you?"

"Theta hasn't arrived, and she has the strongest connection with Nee-chan," he said.  "Plus, she's the most expendable of us." 

Right.  Of course.  Bastard.  She was standing right there, too.  But Nee-chan chose that moment to come out of the bathroom, so Poe just sort of...called her name, I guess.  Said something to briefly distract her.  Worked well enough.  Screwtape got ahold of her right arm, and got her to drop the knife in a matter of seconds, while I tried to grab onto her left arm.  Her flailing hit me in the face a few times.  Shins are bruised now from the kicking.  Glasses took a foot to the face as he tried to hold her down.  We got her on the floor and just sort of pinned her down.  The whole time she just kept yelling about how she was going to "fucking kill that stupid bitch."  Those words made up probably about 50%  of what she said, actually (the rest of it consisted largely of "Morningstar," and about five Japanese words I don't remember and didn't understand), although it was mostly incoherent.

We sat there for ten minutes.  Ten minutes of her screaming, sobbing, and struggling underneath us.  Screwtape and Ginger seemed to know what they were doing, but Glasses and I were kind of holding on for dear life.  And Poe just sort of stepped back into a corner of the room and froze up.  But Nee-chan would just sort of cycle between screaming, sobbing, and then falling silent and just breathing heavily.  And then screaming again, her torso and head writhing as she tried to get free.  It's...I don't even know how to describe it.  I can't do it justice.  She had four people pinning her down and I still felt like she was the one in control.

But at the end of the ten minutes, Theta showed up.  Looked at Screwtape, and said just a few words.  "Did you tell Jacob?"  Screwtape nodded, and he just responded with "good," before walking over, reaching down, and pressing somewhere on Nee-chan's neck.  Pressure point or something, I guess, because she lost consciousness almost instantly.  Screwtape and Ginger stepped back.  It took me a bit longer to feel safe letting go.  Glasses was still gripping her leg, and his face looked like it was going white at that point.  But I guess I shouldn't point fingers, since I probably wasn't looking much better.  Theta picked her up, hoisted her over a shoulder, and carried her to a back room (her bedroom I guess, probably).  He came out, turned to Screwtape, and told him that he'd be staying for a few days.  Screwtape didn't raise any objections or seem even remotely bothered by announcement. 

Anyway, Screwtape turned to the rest of us.  "Thank you," he said.  "You've been a great help tonight.  Except for you, Raven, but I didn't expect you to be pulling your weight at this point."  I swear, Theta was the only thing keeping me from beating his ass into oblivion.

But yeah, no reports today (I've got Morningstar's to write up now, too) because I've been too busy with all that shit.  Sorry to let you all down.  I'll try to get one or two of them up tomorrow.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

A Summary of Events Thus Far

All right, I guess my blog's getting a bit long and it's exactly the most episodic thing out there.  I guess I should provide a CliffNotes version for those of you who didn't want to bother reading the actual assignment.

Hi.  Call me The Messenger (or Messi, for those of you who are too lazy to type the whole thing out--Messi, not Messy or Mess).  I work for someone I call The Boss.  You might know him by a variety of names.  The Slender Man seems to be the most standard.  I'm a 27-year-old hacker who acts, as you may expect, as a messenger.  I write up reports of the deceased and post them to their blogs.  I'm not going to bother linking you, but I've got a tag on the left side of the page for "Reports."  Feel free to click that to get an example of what I'm talking about.

Anyway, before you get all judgmental,  I'm working for The Boss for two reasons.  The first is that, simply put, it's safer.  Why run when I can get on his good side instead?  The second is that I'm kind of here in my brother Kyle's stead.  I asked him to, if I work for him, leave my brother and those around him alone.  I don't know why, but his answer so far seems to be "sure, why the hell not?"  So I'm doing this largely for my brother's sake.  He and his friends are writing and filming one of those vlog things, incidentally.  I actually think that they're just going through a few small rewrites now and are going to start shooting soon.  I give him maybe two more months before he loses interest.

Anyway, started working here, and I got to know some of the others who work for him.  The first guy I met (a guy calling himself Hyde) was also the first report I wrote up.  The first two I met who actually stayed alive long enough for me to get to know them were two partners called Caper and Poe.  Caper referred to himself and Poe as "Trackers," or people whose job it was to discern and monitor the locations of runners.  I got to know Caper fairly well.  He was the type of guy who you could never take seriously, probably because he never gave anyone the impression that he took anything seriously himself.  Poe, meanwhile, was this quiet and withdrawn girl always dressed in what she describes as "gothic lolita" clothing who always seemed to be trailing after Caper.

Around this time I started interviewing people just so I could figure out what exactly I had gotten myself into and why exactly I was one of the "bad guys."  Tried interviewing Caper a couple of times but never got a straight answer out of him.  Talked to a hollowed or hallowed or husk or whatever you guys call them calling himself William.  Several of them, actually.  They lost their identities so they tried taking on a collective one.  Interviewed a youth calling himself Alex.  Never really saw him after that, so I decided to check around.  Turns out he died a few months back.  No big ceremony surrounding his death or anything.  That's just the way things go around here.

Anyway, things really started getting hectic around here around the time Caper died.  He and Poe told me that he had just destroyed evidence that kept the Hunters (the people who finish the Trackers' jobs) from being able to locate her.  I later found out that he had actually also killed one of said Hunters, but I'll get to that when I get to that.

Poe didn't really know where else to go at that point, so she came over and we got drunk together to try to forget.  Because that's how adults handle their problems.  They turn to alcohol.  Started to get to know her for a bit.  Then she cut off all contact for a while to mourn.  Started up a blog of her own (linked in the sidebar on the left) as a coping mechanism.

We've got a guy funding us so that we have a place to live and don't starve to death.  His name's Jacob.  He's a stockbroker who decided that he could part with some of his money if the alternative was death threats from what he views as a cult.  He's actually also a really nice guy, in my opinion.  Anyway, he also deals with living and working arrangements.  He decided that I needed a roommate, and that Poe needed a new roommate/partner.  So I ended up rooming with an unstable Japan-obsessed teenage girl calling herself Nee-chan (who I later found out was a replacement for the Hunter Caper killed), and Poe ended up with a psychologically abusive fanatic called Screwtape.  Poe couldn't stand rooming with him, so we convinced Jacob to let her and Nee-chan trade rooms.  Now Nee-chan's living with Screwtape and Poe's living with me.  And I guess Poe and I have sort of started to develop a bit of an unofficial relationship or something?  I don't know, it's complicated.

Speaking of Poe.  Basically, Screwtape's kind of been harassing her, I guess?  There was this old boyfriend of hers or something named Donovan who found her after I interviewed her and he recognized her story.  And now he thinks that he needs to be playing the hero and should come and "save her."  So I should probably be keeping an eye on him.  I'm surrounded by enough crazy as is.  I don't need Don Juan adding to that.

Anyway, shortly after all that, I started getting these tapes from this unknown sender (I've dubbed him "Big Brother" for the sake of giving him a name) with some purpose I can't entirely figure out.  The tapes tend to show the more negative sides of my co-workers.  The first five were of Nee-chan in various stages of batshit fucking insane, the second two displayed Caper's murderous side (this is when and how I found out why exactly he was killed), and one showing Poe as...well, it showed me that she didn't exactly willingly sign up to work for The Boss.

And now I may finally see some closure to this, because Big Brother's wants to meet in person.  But before all that happens, I've got some work to do.  A lot of people died recently.  I've got three reports to write up (Maduin, Morningstar, and the Slender Man division of the PTC) and work is taking priority.

And now you're caught up with the present.  Congratulations.  Have a fucking cookie.

God I'm tired.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

A Talk with Big Brother

Where did we leave off?  Oh, yes, I remember now.  I got a call from Big Brother.  The guy who's been sending me tapes.  Always pleasant talking to the guy who may or may not be watching me sleep.

But a thing or two first, quickly.  The Glass Man died the other day.  I'm putting a report together that'll probably go up tomorrow or the next day.  If you don't know who Glass is, I guess you'll find out then, because I'm not going to bother telling you now.  Also, Nee-chan came over again yesterday.  After two weeks of the "we've been busy" excuse, things finally cooled down enough that we can stand being in the same room as her.  I have no clue how Poe could stand sitting on the same couch as her but then again, I guess she's more used to this sort of thing than I am.  Also her hair is blue now apparently...?  It's been a few weeks, I guess, but...I don't know.  I feel like I should have known about that.

And because you people apparently care so much and keep saying that I'm getting defensive or whatnot, I should probably at least clear up what's going on between Poe and myself.  I've got her permission to post this, and it's clear that you people aren't going to shut up until I do.  Basically, early last week, we had a talk about the fact that you people think that there's obviously something between us, and...well, okay, there are feelings, and they're kind of mutual, but...the situation is a really tricky one.  You have to remember that she was Caper's partner for six months, that Caper had done who knows how much for her, and then remember that the two of them never actually pursued a relationship.  Neither of us is sure that this is the right thing, or even a good thing at all.  Basically, we don't want to risk anything at the moment.  Satisfied?  Good.

Anyway, here's the call transcript.

B: Ah, Mr. Messenger!  What a surprise!

M: You called me.

B:  Did I, now?  Huh.  Imagine that.

M: What do you want?

B: Oh, just checking in to see how you're doing.

M: Chances are you know exactly how I'm doing.  Did you know that I've started taking a blanket into the bathroom with me to shit under?

B: Messi, Messi, Messi...why the paranoia?  You didn't find any bugs, did you?

M: No, but who's to say I didn't miss them?  Or that they've been removed and put back?

B: Oh, Messenger.  You're so cute when you're paranoid.  But what about the tapes?  What did you think?  Personally, I liked the Nee-chan series more, but it all comes down to taste.

M: Okay, I'll bite.  What's the purpose?  Making me admit that the people I'm surrounded by are crazy?  Good job!  You win.  What now?

B: You've got it all wrong, Little Brother.

M: That's not the reference--

B: Messenger, you keep asking why you're evidently one of the "bad guys."  You think that you've made the right choice and that everyone must have reasons as good as yours.  You see the world in shades of gray.  Noe one's a hero.  No one's a villain.  But come on, Mr. Funeral.  You saw those tapes.  People aren't who you think they are.  And while you may be right about there being shades of grey, some shades are darker than others.  And...well, let's face it, Messenger.  Your Boss doesn't wear a white suit.

M: Your point?

B: You're not one of the good guys, Messi.  You need to drop this pretension.  You're on the side that, statistically, is a bit less morally just.  Tell me, why exactly are you on this side again?

M: Because my brother--

B: Don't feed me that line.  What's the other reason?

M:  ...Because it's safer.  It's safer to work for him than to work against him.

B: Now, don't you think that's a bit selfish?

M: Okay, look, I still don't see your point.

B: One of these days, Messenger, you're going to have to make a choice.  You'll have reason to run.  You'll have reason to stay.  And when you make that choice, you need to know what you're getting into.  It's not a fair choice if you don't know your options.

M: So you want me to become a runner.

B: No, no no no.  Not at all.  Not necessarily.  Think of this as...as a test.  One that you've passed.

M: I've passed?

B: Well, you've seen what Nee-chan and Poe are like.  What Caper was like.  And yet, you still feel comfortable enough to stay.  You know what you're in for, and you're still around.

M: So, um...great?  I don't know what you want me to say.  Give me my diploma or something.

B: Ah, but you still have the secondary education to complete, Messi.  Have you ever met Theta?  Nee-chan's partner?

M: No.  What does that have to do with anything.

B: Oh, you'll see.  You should ask Nee-chan to introduce the two of you sometime.  Get to know a few more of your neighbors and co-workers.  Oh, and one more thing.

M: Yeah?

B: That Poe girl seems nice.  Good luck with that.

[And then he hung up as I started cursing]

So I talked with Nee-chan when she came over, and she's going to introduce me to Theta.  I guess I'll find out what he's like next Saturday.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

An Unknown Caller

Well, I've got a few answers.  Answers that raise more questions.  Why can nothing ever be straightforward?

First, an update on Poe: she's still upset, but she's a bit more stable now.  There's a good chance that Donovan was targeted because he gets along with The Mad Ventriloquist (not to dump this on you, TMV...I just need Poe to know that it's not her fault).  His family was tortured/murdered, incidentally, by one of The Mad Ventriloquist's psychotic friends, so...I've been trying to convince her that she's not at fault here.  It's kind of working.  She's still convinced that it's partially her fault, or that she convinced Screwtape to get involved or something.

Earlier today, I got a call.  Checked the caller ID.  It was Caper's number.

Naturally, I answered.  Still don't know if it was a smart move or a stupid one, but it was a natural reaction.

Messenger: Who the hell is this?

?: Hello, Mr. Messenger. [A male's voice.  Not Caper's.  Not any voice I recognize, for that matter.]  I see you've made it through those tapes I sent you.  How were they?  Enjoyable, I hope?

M: Who the hell are you?

?: Oh, please, Mr. Messenger.  I'm sure you've seen at least a few movies in your lifetime.  You should know how these things work.  Why would I reveal my name to you?  What could you possibly give me in return?

M: I swear, man, whoever you are, I will hunt you down--

?: [laughing] Really?  You honestly think you have any chance of finding out who I am?  You'd recognize my voice if you knew me.  I'm not Ulysses, not Screwtape, not Jacob...not even Caper.  What does that give you for leads?  I'm the one who holds all the cards, and the sooner you realize that and stop making idle threats, the sooner I can get to my point, mmkay? 

[He was right, of course.  I had close to no clue in the first place, and every clue I did have was gone.]

M: So what's the point? Why send me those tapes of Nee-chan?  What did you hope to accomplish?  And seriously, why put them on tapes?

?: Well it's no fun if it's too easy, is it?  Besides, it's fun watching you scramble around and rant at me.  You're so cute when you're angry.

M: So you're a troll.

?: I suppose you could put it that way, yes.  But trolls do it...how would you say it?  For the lulz?  I, on the other hand, have a bit more of a purpose.

M: And what purpose could showing me those tapes serve?  You still haven't answered that.  What are you hoping to accomplish?

?: Oh, Messi, Messi, Messi...you're still so naive.  You're still a...how would you say it?  A newfag?

M: I'm not a Channite.  I don't use their phrases.

M: Of course, of course.  My mistake.  But back to my point.  You're such an optimist, Messenger.  Convinced that everyone just needs a little nudge in the right direction or is blackmailed into this or has no other choice.  Nee-chan was just a poor girl who never had any friends, isn't she?  Problem solved.  But then why is she lashing out like this?  Surely if she was just a poor, broken girl, she'd turn her hatred inward instead of outward and waste away.  You see, Mr. Funeral, as much as you're trying to be the "good guy," you're almost doing more harm than good.  You're putting everyone off guard.  You're telling all those runners that we're all just lost souls waiting to be reformed.  Hallelujah, praise Jesus and Buddha and Ghandi, I saw the light, and suddenly we're fine upstanding citizens again.

[Following him?  Me neither.] 

M: What exactly are you getting at?

?: Messenger, I have a question for you.  Would you like to know why Caper died?

M: Oh, yeah, that reminds me.  Where did you get his phone?

?: [He laughed again] You've seen the tapes and you're asking where I got the phone?  I think my influence would surprise you.  You've had two very attractive female roommates, you know.  I wonder what sort of things they'd do behind closed doors.

M: You sick fuck.

?: Conversely, I wonder how they'd react to seeing what you do when you think no one's watching.

M: I swear, I will sue your ass onto the streets.

?: Mr. Messenger, Mr. Messenger...you don't even know who or where I am.  Good luck finding out.  But you never answered my question.  Would you like to know why Caper died?

M: I already know.  He didn't kill some girl he was supposed to and The Boss punished him for it.  I really don't see what you're getting at.

?: [He started outright laughing at this.]  So very...very, very naive.  Honestly, Mr. Funeral, do you think that Father cares whether that girl lives or dies, or that he'd be unable to just kill her himself if he really wanted to?  No, Father wouldn't kill Caper over something that trivial.

M:  ...Why did Caper die, then?

?: Well, be on the lookout for another tape.  It can explain better than I can.  And I think I'll just put it on a DVD for you this time.  Save you the trouble.

M: I've already got a VCR player, jackass.

?: I suppose you do.  But it saves me the trouble more than you.  Oh, and...I'll include a little bonus feature on the disc as well.  Make it "special edition" for you.

M: Yeah, fuck you too.

?: [chuckling]  Goodbye, Messenger.  Oh, and...one more thing before I go.  Just out of curiosity...why do you think Nee-chan showed up so suddenly after Caper's death?  Don't answer.  Just something to think about.

And then he hung up.

Well...I guess Caper's next.  There's a chance I'll finally be getting a straight answer out of him.  I just wish he were giving it himself.

And I'm really hoping that this'll be able to cheer Poe up a bit, no matter what it is.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

A Situation/Tape #5

Okay, first, to elaborate on our situation a little more.  Poe is...currently a little unstable.  Not mentally or anything, just...emotionally.  If you're familiar with Donovan, that guy who used to apparently know her, you'll know that he's...going through a tough time right now.  And it's tough for Poe to have to hear that and not know how responsible she is for this happening.  I've been trying to console her some, but she's been...well, she's not taking it well.

But that was before we watched the tapes.  That was on Saturday.  Poe found out this morning.  As for what happened Saturday, Nee-chan came over for their weekly anime session, and since we couldn't really watch the tapes with her around, Poe convinced her to leave early.  We watched the tapes after that.  Wasn't in the mood to transcribe them that night, considering the contents, and today I've been busy just being there for Poe during her breakdown.  Also because I've been kind of dodging transcribing the tapes.  But I'm getting this one written out now and it is going to feel so good to put these tapes behind me.

Tape #5

Someone (later revealed to be a man probably in his late twenties) is holding a camera, their hand unsteady, their breathing quick and hurried.  The cameraman pans the camera around in perhaps the most dizzying way possible, scanning the horizon.  He lets out a sigh of relief, and turns around.  Nee-chan pops up into the frame.  Note: her hair is pink at this point, as opposed to the purple in other videos.

Nee-chan: Ooh, whatcha got there?  Is that a camera?  Neat!

The cameraman stumbles backwards with a yell, falling to the ground.  Nee-chan reaches down and grabs the camera from him.

N: Whatcha filming?  Mind if I borrow the camera?  Oh, this thing's actually pretty nice, desu! 

The cameraman stands, pulling out a switchblade, and charges Nee-chan. She idly sidesteps him as he charges.

N: You shouldn't be waving that around, you know.  You could get hurt.  I mean, your form's so clumsy!  And it's so short!  I mean, you've got a better chance of hurting yourself than of hurting me.

The man growls, undeterred, and charges again.

N: Oh, so you wanna play that badly, huh?  Okay, let's play!

She pulls out a knife of her own.  I didn't get a good look, since the camera was kind of jumpy this entire time, but I think it may have been a butterfly knife.  Anyway, I saw enough to see that, as they fought, the guy was at a clear disadvantage the whole time.  He didn't have the speed or skill Nee-chan does.  She was toying with him.  Like a cat with a mouse.  Laughing.  Having fun.  All this while holding a camera.  Finally, he screams, and when she turns the camera on him, he's dropped the knife and is clutching his wrist.

N: Yatta!  Wanna play again?  [The man attempts to stand and run.]  Hey, no running away now.  We're not done yet.

She runs after him and slices at his leg, and a bloodcurdling scream splits the night.  When the camera pulls back and comes into focus a bit more, it's revealed that the man has had his calves slashed, rendering him unable to run.

Man: [gasping through pain] You've got me.  Now what?  Just going to murder me in cold blood like the scum you are?

N: Why would you say that?  You attacked me first.

M: You work for a monster!

N: Yeah, I know!  He's so kawaii, isn't he?

M: I...wait, what?  You...think he's cool, or cute, or...whatever you said?  Look, I...I don't know how to break this to you, but...he's not.  He's a monster who wants nothing more than to kill everyone he can, and...look, you don't seem to understand.  He's just using you!

N: N-no he's not.  He's my friend.

M: [laughing through the pain]  You...you think he's your friend?  He doesn't care about you!  Maybe he pretends to, or maybe you've deluded yourself so that--

N: SHUT UP!

M: Face it--you've been suckered into doing whatever he wants you to.  Are you really that gullible to think that you're any better off than me for it?

N: I said, shut up!

Nee-chan appears to drop to her knees, and the camera falls to the ground.  It lands at an angle that sort of tilts up, revealing most of Nee-chan, but leaving the man out of sight on the ground.  She proceeds to take the knife and stab the man repeatedly, shouting incoherently, then dropping the knife and tearing apart his body with her bare hands.  I think.  They come away bloody, at it kind of looks like she's holding organs at some point, but I don't really want to think about it too hard.  After he's clearly taken enough damage to kill him, she collapses into tears and places her arms around what I'm assuming is his neck, throttling the corpse and sobbing.  This goes on for five whole minutes before she just sort of rolls off of him and collapses into a fetal position, grabbing the camera and shutting it off.

End Tape #5

And...those are the tapes.  Those are the five tapes.  And after watching them, I'm sure of only one thing: Nee-chan is absolutely batshit fucking insane.  I don't know why I was sent the tapes, and I don't know who sent them, or how whoever it is got their hands on them.  I'm just...really, really confused right now.  And to be honest, pretty damn paranoid.

I guess I'll keep you updated on the situation.  I really hope that some answers come through soon.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Bug Sweeping/Tape #4

First things first: I'm splitting the events of the past few days into two posts.  There's a few things to talk about, and I want to be able to breathe for a bit between transcriptions.  First half in this post, second half in the next one.

Well, I've checked the apartment.  I couldn't find any sort of bugs or cameras anywhere.  For some reason, whatever cameras that may have been installed have been removed.  Still hasn't stopped Poe from hanging up curtains all over her walls.  I'm tempted to do the same.

Anyway, Poe came up to me on Friday, asking to watch the tapes with me, and of course I agreed, since I'd been considering asking her myself, since she's kind of involved in this too, now.  Isn't that great?  We've got our own little psychotic home video movie night.  A shame we don't have any popcorn or milk duds lying around.

But yeah.  We watched the remaining two tapes.  Here's the transcript for the first.

Tape #4

Another hidden camera in another apartment.  This one's not our apartment though.  Pretty sure it's not even the same apartment building, and judging by the fact that her hair's still purple in this tape as opposed to pink, I don't think it's even in NYC.  Nee-chan storms into the room, slamming the door behind her.  Ulysses hears the noise and enters the room.  I guess that this either takes place before his death, or that his injuries, however lethal they looked, weren't fatal.

U: Whoa, whoa, Nee-chan.  Settle down.  What's going on?

Nee-chan ignores him, and starts furiously pacing around the apartment.

N: I'll kill her!  I'm going to kill the bitch!  [She picks up a lamp and throws it at the wall, shattering it, then grabs the couch and flips it over.]  Kill, kill, kill, rip out her fucking throat!

The conversation that follows is kind of hard to make out, since it's mostly Nee-chan screaming angry obscenities and Ulysses trying to calm her down.  She continues around the apartment, apparently trying to cause as much damage as she can.  Finally, Ulysses manages to restrain her, haul her into her room, and lock the door behind her, letting out a sigh of relief and muttering something that the microphone doesn't pick up.

There's a segment of tape missing where I don't know what happens, and it picks up in the bathroom (I'm definitely checking for bugs again) with Nee-chan standing at the sink, staring into the mirror.

N: Don't look at me like that.  I see how you're looking at me.  Think you're so much better than me.  Well you're not.  I'm better than you, you...stupid....you're stupid!  [Silence]  Yeah, you would say that, wouldn't you?  Always acting like you know better than me.  But you don't, so don't tell me how to live my life.  I'm doing fine on my own.  [Silence.  When she speaks again, she's more agitated.]  Shut up!  I said I don't need you, so just...just go away!  Leave me alone!  [Silence again.  She covers her ears.]  No!  No, no!  You're lying, I know you're lying, just quit lying!  I can see what you're doing, and you're just jealous.  I know that you don't like me anymore, so stop trying to make me think that he doesn't like me either!  It's not working!  [More silence.  She turns away from the mirror, wrapping her arms tighter around her head.]  Shut up!  I told you, just shut up!

At this, she turns around and starts screaming at the mirror, pounding on it with her fists.  Her hands start bleeding as the mirror cracks and breaks, but she just keeps pounding at it, sobbing and crying.  The tape cuts off suddenly during this.  Not sure why.  Probably just cropped the rest for some reason or another.

End Tape #4

We watched Tape #5 shortly after that.  I'll put up the transcript and explain what exactly's been going on this weekend later tonight.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

A talk with Screwtape/Tape #3

Screwtape showed up at my door today before I sat down to watch the third tape.  He had dropped by to pick up Poe for their excursion down to Starbucks (I think that's where they go) to work.  Of course, as I had assumed, he reads my blog (for those of you wondering who haven't seen the comments, Nee-chan's never read any blog but "Morningstar-sempai's"), and decided to have a brief chat with me.

"Messenger.  What a surprise.  I believe you've leveled an accusation against me that you'd like to discuss."

"What?  No, no, not an accusation.  Just a theory as to who left the tapes.  I'd have called you about it earlier, but I don't think I know your number."

"No," he said, "I do not believe we've exchanged them.  I hope you don't mind me keeping it that way.  I'd rather not end up with you calling me over things like this, or about one of the interviews you seem so fond of."

"So you'd decline an interview if I asked?" I asked him.  He raised an eyebrow.

"Did I ever say that, Messenger?"

"Okay...would you do an interview with me at some point?"

"No.  I would not," he said, clearly amused.  "Now, about this accusation."

"Theory."

"Either way, you have the wrong man, or woman as it may be.  I'm sure you don't believe that I snoop through my own roommate's personal effects, do you?  And honestly, what motivation would I have to spite you?"

"You did break a bird's neck in front of my roommate.  I'm just saying."

"And how is that an affront to you?  Unless I've made a grave mistake, I believe she wasn't even your roommate at the time.  Besides, I was merely demonstrating a point.  I've caused her no harm, have I?  Which reminds me."  He pushed past me into the room.  "I'm waiting, Raven," he called out.  "We're going to be running late as it is."  He turned to me.  "Look, Messenger...let me make one thing clear.  I know you demonize me because of that incident with the bird.  I see no reason for that.  And I know that you're going to be writing down this conversation, and since I don't see your little recorder in your hand, I'm guessing it's going to be from memory.  I already know--don't correct me, because I'm sure of this--that you'll be demonizing me in your post as well.  And if you want to do that, I have no way of stopping you.  But know this: no matter what you think of me, no matter how self-righteous you believe yourself to be compared to me, I did not leave you those tapes.  It would be senseless and accomplish nothing.  So please.  Do not try to pin this to me."

Poe came out shortly after that, and the two of them headed off.  That's when I watched the tape.

This one is...unexpected.  Well, not really, because I knew exactly what to expect, but...it's hard to explain.  I'll just post the transcript for you; there's not much there.

Tape #3

This one is actually an assortment/timelapse of clips.  Nee-chan is lying on a bed, cuddling her plushie.  She lies in the fetal position, unmoving in most of them.  In fact, the only difference in most of these clips is the timestamps.  She lies near-motionless--near-catatonic, even, for hours at a time.

There is a knock on a door, followed by a man's voice.

Voice: Nee-chan, are you okay?  [Silence]  Look, I'm...I'm leaving some food outside the door for you.  [More silence]  Nee-chan, can you say something?  Anything?  Just so I know that you're still alive?

Nee-chan: [quietly, but audible] Go away.

Voice:  [Silence] Okay.  I'm leaving the food out here if you want it.

There are a few more hours of silence and motionlessness.  At no point does she retrieve the food.  Finally, she turns onto her back and holds the plushie up above her.  

Nee-chan: I'm sorry, Slendy-kun.  I messed up, didn't I?  Gomen Nasai.  [Silence]  I'm sorry!  I tried!  It...I wasn't prepared enough, that's all!  [Silence.  When she speaks again, she grows more and more agitated]  Don't look at me like that!  I tried!  What all do you want?  I thought it would be a nice bonus!  It wasn't even what you wanted me specifically to do!  [Another silence]  No!  Shut up!  I'm not listening!  I tried and it's not my fault!  It was an accident!  [Brief silence]  Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!

At this point, she starts crying and she throws the plushie at the wall as hard as she can.  She pounds the bed with her fists as she sobs, and throws the plushie around the room a few more times, battering it some in the process.  Eventually, she just leaves it and collapses on the bed, sobbing, slowly pulling herself back into the fetal position.

End Tape #3

So, on to why exactly this is unnverving for you.  Some of you may have found this mildly familiar.  I sure as hell did.  You know why?  Because the guy who knocked on her door?  That was me.  That was in Nee-chan's room in my fucking apartment during the events of this post.  That is the room that Poe is staying in now.  And this wasn't just Nee-chan recording herself.  This was a hidden camera.

Let me reiterate.  There are cameras.  Hidden cameras.  Hidden fucking cameras in my fucking apartment.

I sort of stormed into Poe's room while she was out meeting with Screwtape to check.  Sorry, Poe, invasion of privacy, but I didn't want to bother you while you were working and that's the only angle I knew of for sure that had a hidden camera.  It wasn't there.  That was the only place I checked in Poe's room, but I did scour my room and the rest of the apartment for hidden cameras.  Couldn't find them, or even any evidence that there were, are, or ever have been hidden cameras installed in my apartment.  I'm going to see if I can find some bug-checking equipment, and I'm going to do that ASAP.  I haven't even attempted changing my clothes since watching this tape.

Who the hell is this guy?

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Tape #2

Another tape from the box.  This one's also of Nee-chan.  Again, within the year.  I'm starting to suspect that this will be a trend.  And let me answer a few questions now: no, I haven't asked her about it.  What exactly do I say?  "Hey, Nee-chan, someone sent me a few tapes of you.  Any idea who?"  I'm still not sure if this is something that I want to confront her about soon, or never confront her about.  Ever.  Especially after this one.

Anyway, here's the transcript.

Tape #2

Inside an apartment.  Nee-chan is speaking into the camera--probably her webcam.  She starts by ranting about some anime series like she's doing a review.  The anime isn't important, and neither is what she says, so I'm going to cut that.  Hair, incidentally, is still purple at this point in time.  Ulysses walks in the door behind her, causing her to turn.

Nee-chan: Lissy!  You ruined my review!

Ulysses: Maybe I'd care if you stopped calling my Lissy.

N: But now I'm going to have to do the whole thing again!

U: Yeah, well, I'm sorry that I messed up the time you spent talking about one of those cartoons you're constantly watching.  Seriously, you're what, eighteen?  Grow up a bit, would you?

N: Don't call them cartoons.

U: Well that's what they are.

N: Shut up!

In one swift motion, she pulls out a knife and throws it at him.  He looks down at his chest for a moment before staggering and falling to the ground.  Nee-chan pauses for a moment, a look of shock passing over her face before she rushes into the background, dropping out of the frame about where Ulysses is.

N: Lissy!  I'm...I'm sorry, I...it was an accident!  I didn't mean...c'mon, Lissy!  Y-you're fine!  Lissy!

She stands up, darts back over to the camera, and reaches up, pulling the camera down (closing her laptop, it looks like).  The video cuts off.

End Tape #2

So.  Um...yeah.  I think I'm just going to have to let that one speak for itself, since I don't really want to talk about it.  I just hope that the rest of the tapes aren't as bad as this one.

Although I guess that's one mystery solved: Ulysses probably isn't the one sending me the tapes.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Tape #1

So, I finally found a VCR.  I watched the first tape.  And guess what?  The tape looks like it was taken within the year.  You know, in 2011.  Where everything's recorded on digital cards.  Let me give this it's own paragraph for some extra emphasis:

Whoever it was who gave me the box went out of their way to convert the video to tapes.

I have no clue why the fucker would do that.  It makes no sense.  But that's not even the part that pisses me off most.  You know what's on the tape?  Of course you don't, because I haven't told you.  And I'm sure you want to know.  Which is what I'm going to do.  Right now.

The tape was of Nee-chan.

Now, Nee-chan specifically said that she didn't know who left the box.  Poe can confirm that she didn't leave it herself.  I don't know who did.  But whoever it is has tapes of Nee-chan.  I guess there's no other way to explain the tape than to just give you a transcript.

Tape #1

It's night in a back alley.  A shaky hand trains a camera on a serious-looking man.  The person behind the camera speaks.

???: C'mon, Lissy, take the camera!  Onegai Shimasu?

The Japanese quite clearly informs us that this is Nee-chan, a fact confirmed a second or two later as the man takes the camera and we get a glimpse of her.  Her hair is purple at this point.

???: Ulysses.  Not Lissy.  And really, Nee-chan, I don't see why I have to film you.  It's pointless.

Nee-chan: Come ooooon, pleeeease?  [she gives him puppy dog eyes and sticks a quivering lip out.]  I need to know how I look.

Ulysses: See, that's the part I don't get.  Why?  Why on earth do you need to know what it looks like?

N: Because I need to know if it looks cool!  It has to look right!

U: So, what, I just sit out behind a dumpster, waiting for him to come out?

N: Yes!

U: ...This is the dumbest thing I've ever done.

Nee-chan disappears from sight, and Ulysses hunkers down in a corner, training the camera on a door.  After two minutes, the door opens, and a panicked-looking young man steps out, thanking someone inside for "everything."  The door shuts, the man looks back and forth a few times, and starts to take a step.  At this point, Nee-chan appears again, uncurling from some hiding place (some sort of light fixture, perhaps?) and dangling from the top of the screen.  She grabs the man under the chin with one hand and yanks it up, pulling a blade across his neck with the other.  She lets the corpse fall to the ground, tries to curl back up, but finds herself unable to do so.  Ulysses steps forward, letting the camera dangle, and grabs the corpse, dragging it back behind the dumpster.  He trains the camera back on Nee-chan as she awkwardly crawls down.

U: Come on, we need to get this body further away before we dispose of it.

N: Did I look cool?

U: Who cares?  Come on, what if the guy he was staying with decides to come out for some reason?

N: Did you get it on tape, Lissy?

U: Ulysses.  And yes, I did, you looked great.  Is that what you want to hear?  Now come on.  Now.

N: I'll take that!

Nee-chan grabs the camera, then the screen goes black.

So if Nee-chan didn't leave the tapes, who did?  Was it that Ulysses guy?  Screwtape?  Those are the only two that would come to mind at the moment.  More importantly, why?  Seriously, why?  I don't get the point of it.  None of this makes any sense.  At all.

I guess that I might have a better idea once I go through the other tapes.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

A Mysterous Package

Well, now that I've gotten over the initial shock about someone having known Poe back when she was a runner, I've had chance to mull it over.  And I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't fucking matter.  So he knew her back before she was Poe.  Big deal.  What's he going to do, come hunt us down?  None of you have been able to find me yet (I guess if you really wanted to, you maybe could have tracked Nee-chan back that one night she crashed the wedding, but apparently you all thought that dancing would be more important (not that I'm complaining)).  Why would Donovan be the first?

Basically, life goes on as normal.

Speaking of normal, Nee-chan's gotten in the habit of coming over on Saturdays.  She came over today as well, and she and Poe watched more of that anime stuff.  I've gotten to the point where I'm able to tune them out some.  The moonspeak eventually just becomes entertaining background noise.  Although when Nee-chan left, Poe did say that it would be nice if I at least gave it a try once.  She says that she has something she thinks I'd be interested in, and that she'll even convince Nee-chan to let me watch it in English.

But anyway, that's not what I'm posting about.  I'm posting because I went to pick up some soda.  Just a quick, simple trip down to the nearest gas station.  When I came back, though there was a small cardboard box for me at the door.  It wasn't taped shut, just folded up, with the word "Messenger" scrawled across the side.

I picked it up, took it in, and asked Poe and Nee-chan if they knew anything about it.  Neither of them had put it there, and no one had knocked on the door.  Someone had just dropped it off.

I opened it up.  Inside were five video tapes (labeled #1-#5).  And nothing else.  No note, no indication on the box as to who the tapes had come from, nothing.  Five tapes in a box labelled "Messenger."  Obviously a "gift" of some sort.  What type of gift it was, I don't know.  Maybe someone died or something.  But either way, the mystery's gonna have to wait until I find the equipment I need to actually play what my mysterious donor left me.  Because whoever it was didn't bother to leave anything I'd need to actually watch these.

Seriously, who the hell even owns a VCR anymore?

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-

Interview with Nee-chan

Things have been more normal here lately.  Less awkward.  Poe and I are coexisting without any real problems.  We don't talk much.  Then again, we never talked much in the first place.  She's a quiet person, I've never been one for small talk, and I guess we're just leaving each other to our own devices.  She goes out to work with Screwtape about every other day, and if he's pulling anything like that raven stunt, she doesn't show it.  Her demeanor's about the same before and after they meet.  Then again, it'd be hard to tell.  She's still so quiet and gloomy all the time.  I really wish she'd smile again.

Nee-chan came over for a visit yesterday.  I thought it'd be good for her to spend time with Poe so that they could bond over anime or something.  I think that she needs someone she can talk to if she can get over this creepy obsession of hers (and after the interview I had with her later, my thoughts were only reinforced).  It's either anime or knives that's a good starting point with Nee, and I don't know many people obsessed with knives.  Plus, you know, the anime addiction is probably just a little bit healthier.  The two of them watched some show that was called...okay, to be honest, I have no fucking clue what it was called.  The title was all Japanesey, and if you tell me that a show's called "Dorichushi Mari Mari Hai" or something like that, I'm going to forget it within a minute.  Something about this girl with purple hair (why the fuck do anime characters have to have pink or blue or purple or green hair?) who keeps killing a guy with some sort of giant mace and then brings him back to life for some reason?  It don't know, they watched it in Japanese (because Nee refuses to watch it any other way, of course).  Also, I'm never going to be able to get that fucking theme song out of my head.  I don't understand a word of it, which somehow makes it worse.  But they watched it pretty much all day, and actually finished it.  Didn't take too long; it was apparently a pretty short show.  But that left plenty of time for me to do what I never got the chance to do earlier: interview Nee-chan.

Messenger: So, um, Nee-chan.  Is it okay if I interview you a bit?  Ask you about...well, I guess how you got involved in all of this?  A few other things?

Nee-chan:  [grinning]  Sure, Messenger-san!

M:  Okay, but just to warn you, this might get...uncomfortable at times.  If I ask you something you don't want to know, you...don't have to answer, I guess.  You okay?  [She nodded.]  Okay.  So.  Um...how long have you been...you know, working for The Boss?

N:  Who, Slendy-kun?  [laughter]  I don't work for him.  Slendy-kun's my friend.  I just help him out.  It's what friends do for each other.  [She held up crossed fingers.]  Nakama.

M: Okay...don't know what that means, but...right, anyway how long have you two...been friends, I guess?

N: Hmm...probably about a year.

M: And how did that start?

N: [shrug] I started reading about him, he showed up, and I couldn't see what the big fuss was about.  He just showed up and he was really nice.  And look!  [She held up her plushie and shoved it in my face.]  You can't tell me that he doesn't look totally kawaii! [Note: Thanks to Poe for explaining some of the things she says and for helping me with the spelling.]

M: Um...and...it doesn't bother you that he...you know, kills people?

N: You say that like they don't deserve to die.

M:  ...they...well, um....don't...they're still people, you know.  I mean, just to play devil's advocate, I'm sure that a lot of runners think that you deserve to die, too.

N: Then they're just like everyone else, desu.

[I decided that it'd maybe be a good time to try a different approach.  She'd said something earlier implying that The Boss was her only friend, she's got some sort of resentment towards people in general, and she feels some sort of resentment from people in general.]

M: Hey, uh, listen Nee-chan.  I was wondering about something.  What was your life like as a kid?

N: I don't remember too much.  We moved around a lot.  Mom was a teacher, and she taught at a lot of different places.

M: That must have been tough, moving around all the time.

N: [nod] Like I said, I don't remember much.  Just the moving.  We never stayed long enough for me to make any friends.

M: Did you ever find any?

N: [shakes head] By the time we finally settled on a place, everyone started telling me that I was a weirdo or a freak.  They didn't want to be friends with the new girl.  They bullied me, said that I was a baby for still watching cartoons [she got really mad when she said that--I remember one point when I called the shows she watched "cartoons" as well and she went on a huge rant about how I couldn't appreciate fine art and culture or some shit like that]...I never really made any friends.

M: Weren't your parents concerned about it?

N: [She suddenly got really sad and looked down.]  They weren't concerned about anything but their jobs.  Mom was always busy grading papers or preparing lessons and Dad wasn't even home half the time.

M: I'm...I'm sorry.  So...all that anime you watch. You started watching that when you were moving around constantly, right?  What about the knives?  When did you start getting...interested in knives? [Let it be known that I don't know how to phrase half of these questions.  I never really conversed with people this psychotic on a regular basis.]

N: Oh, when all those kids were being mean to me, I started to get into fights.  But they were all stronger than me.  And once I started fighting them, it didn't matter if I stopped or not.  They started fighting back.  I had to carry a knife for protection, and learn to use it to keep from getting beat up.  It was something to do.  [she gave a grin that really, really put me on edge.]  And guess what, Messenger-san!  No one beats me up anymore!

M: Um...right.  I...think that's about enough.  Thanks for talking with me.

N: Dou itashimathite, Messenger-san!  And domo arigatou! 



One more quick note: before she left, out of curiosity, I asked her what her name was.  Because it's obviously not Nee-chan.

"Erika Lyons," she told me after a while.  "But if you ever call me anything other than Nee-chan or Eri...."  And then she gave me an evil little grin and twirled the knife she was holding before leaving.

So...that's Nee-chan, I guess.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-