Friday, July 8, 2011

New Roomie

So.  This morning, there was a knock at my door.  I head over, open the door, and find this girl standing outside.  And she's...let me take a moment to describe her.

She's wearing one of those Japanese schoolgirl sailor moon kind of outfits, with the long socks that go way up past the knee with a miniskirt, and she's got her hair (which, incidentally, is pink) in side-ponytail things, kind of like how Poe wears her hair.  And she's got a plushie of The Boss in one hand.  Let me reiterate: she carries around a plushie.  Of The Boss.

As soon as I open the door, her face lights up and all of a sudden half the stuff she's saying is in Japanese or something (and she's not actually Japanese), so I only get about half of what she's talking about.  She says something about "Are you Mr. Messenger-san?"

Frankly, I don't know who the hell he is, but I took a guess and assumed she was talking about me.  "Yeah," I told her, "I'm the Messenger.  What do you need?"

She sort of closes her eyes and cocks her head in what would probably be one of the cutest expressions ever if I wasn't so confused by everything she was saying.  She told me that she was apparently my new roommate, since Jacob (he's the guy who funds the proxies in the area...can't believe I haven't mentioned him yet.  Remind me to elaborate sometime) evidently decided he doesn't want to spend the money for me to have a two-person room to myself anymore.  Which is understandable, I suppose.  And I really should have been checking my e-mail, since he did apparently send a memo a few days ago.

Naturally, I had to ask the girl who exactly she was.  And then she said some other weird Japanese phrase or something before telling me her name was Nee-chan.  I asked her how she spelled it.  She pushed past me into the room, grabbed a piece of paper, and scrawled some Japanese characters on it, handing it to me.

I just kind of stared at the paper.  Because really.  What the hell.

She did seem to realize that (surprise, surprise) not many Americans can speak Japanese, and rolled her eyes, scrawling "Nee-chan" down below it on the paper.

"So, um, Nee-chan," I asked her, "what's the deal with Poe?  Why aren't you living with Poe?  Or she living with me, for that matter.  I mean, we're already in the same building.  Wouldn't Jacob just want to put the two of us into one room?"

She shrugged and told me that she didn't know who exactly Poe was, and that she had just gotten to NYC herself and didn't know anyone but Jacob or me.  And I swear that she's got the attention span of a squirrel or something, because she immediately went from that to telling me that she needed to go grab her stuff so that she could move into the apartment.  She set that plushie of The Boss down on the couch, bounced back, and, I kid you not, waved at it, and then said "sayonara, Slendy-kun!"

Yeah.  And then that wasn't enough, either.  She turned and glared at me, her face suddenly completely serious.  "Don't.  Touch him," she said, like she'd kill me if I even thought about touching it (and trust me, I'm not even sure I want to look at that stupid thing).  And then just like that, she grinned again and bounced out the door, saying "C'mon, Messenger-san, help me grab my stuff!"

So now I've got a roommate.  We've got all her stuff moved into the room, and she's working on unpacking.  Yep.

...I...I really don't know what to make of all this.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-


  1. ... Wow. It's like something out of those crap anime Cam made me watch with him once. I'm sorry.

  2. I will burn New York in order to rid everyone of you and your friends' stupidity.



  4. With friends like yours, who needs runners?

  5. Manic pixie girl?

    Manic pixie girl.

  6. My my, there's drama everywhere. You just can't escape some things.

  7. I...


    I don't know how to comment on this...

  8. You don't need to be crazy to serve Master, but... Well, actually it doesn't help. It's just fucking annoying.


  9. A slender man plushie? Nice to know there are others making dolls as well. I knit mine.
    For those shaking there heads and wondering,I can attest that hiding his influence within something cute, be it a doll or a person is an effective way to catch people off guard/spread his plague.

  10. Your new roommate is a weaboo? I'm so sorry. I really do feel bad for you.

  11. I WANT A SLENDER MAN PLUSHIE!!! Can you ask her where she got it? Or if she made it herself, can you ask her to make me one? I may not be for or against him, but, I. WANT. ONE.

  12. Awww, s'cute. Better to nip it in the butt before she becomes a real problem.

  13. Dude... Just... what the f***!? Oh, and by the way, it's possible that the "Nee-chan" she said was more like trying to put the act of being a "sister" of some kind (Which is what "Nee-chan" means, actually). Still, I seriously want to say aloud my first statement after reading halfway through this.

  14. If she starts telling you about something called Lucky Star, run as far away as possible.

  15. Burn the plushie, burn the plushie, burn the plushie!!!! know... for SCIENCE

  16. But..that makes nos ense... "nee-chan" is an older sister. She behaves like a younger...shouldn';t she be "imouto-chan" insteda? IT MAKES NO SENSE!

  17. For science, my ass. Gladys definitely doesn't need to share space with Slendy. That would be just a little too screwed up for me.