What happened/Update on Nee-chan

Okay, so, apparently some friend of the person who writes Take the Myth got married and for some reason, he thought it would be a good idea to send me an invitation.  Why the hell he would do that, I don't know.  For one thing, I don't even know him.  In fact, the name "Cam" is androgynous enough that I assumed he was female until I actually read that post I linked and went "wait, homophobia?"  I don't know the guy at all.  I saw the message, went "who the hell are these people and why are they inviting me to their wedding" and just shrugged it off.

Which brings me to the next point.  You'll find this a bit ironic, but despite being a hacker, I generally don't log in and out of my accounts or lock my computer or anything.  This comes from always using my personal computer all the time and never having to share with anyone else.  This was before I lived with Nee-chan.  Apparently, while I was away, she decided that since she doesn't have her own computer, she'd use mine to read "Morningstar-sempai's" blog.  And apparently I left my e-mail tab up and she had seen a wedding invitation and got curious and clicked on it.  Her mind make the jump that mine didn't, and she decided that she'd go and help The Boss out a bit with an impromptu assignment.  Also, she apparently did ask me about it at one point, but I was distracted and wasn't listening (I normally just try to tune her out).  I apparently said that I wasn't going because I had no clue who they were, which is completely true.

But yeah, it's my fault that she found out, and things didn't click until just now.  I'm sorry that your wedding didn't go as planned.  But let me just say now that I'm not going to apologize for screwing up.  I screwed up and I shouldn't have screwed up.  But what I actually should have done was let Poe or some other tracker know what was going on, because it was holding back information that got Caper killed and, if I may be perfectly frank, if you're going to hand the enemy your location at a certain time, as well as state that multiple people The Boss wants dead are going to be there, you are a fucking idiot and fully deserve everything that happened.  Are you people forgetting that we're not exactly on the same side?  Because we're not.  Seriously.  I've got nothing against you guys, but if it's you or me, I'm probably going to be throwing you under the bus.  I don't know any of you well enough to give up my life for you.  Just putting that out there so we're all on the same page.

But let me try to explain what happened the best I can (from what I can understand...I wasn't exactly there myself).  Nee-chan showed up at the wedding, some guy called Konaa stabbed her (though she apparently got him back), and she ended up coming home before she got herself killed (since she had lost the element of surprise and military men had guns trained on her).  And apparently Morningstar was there too, but I have no clue how he found out.  You can't blame that one for that one.  Short explanation?  Yeah.  If you prefer your wedding battles more dramatized, go read that post from Take the Myth I linked earlier.  I think she mentions who all was there.  They're more qualified to talk about it than I am.  All I needed was the basics.

And now I'm sure that all of you (or more likely, none of you) want to know how Nee-chan is doing.  Well, she sort of didn't come out of her room all of Friday.  I knocked on her door, asked her if she needed something to eat, but she didn't even say anything.  Today, though, she finally came out of her room.  Eyes red, like she had been crying.  Just came out of her room with that plushie of The Boss and some sort of case in her arms, and sat down at the table.  That's when I noticed that the head and one of the tentacles had been ripped off.  She opened up the case, which was full of sewing stuff, and just silently started sewing them back on.  She finished up, left all the thread and stuff on the table, weakly smiled a bit as she held the plushie up and tested her repairs, and then just curled up on the couch with it, tucking herself into the fetal position.  Not sleeping, just staring off into space.

I looked back at her every now and then for a while before I finally decided that yeah, I'd probably have to try to talk to her.  I grabbed a chair from the table and sat down near the couch.

"So," I asked her, "what happened?"

She closed her eyes.  "I don't want to talk about it."

"C'mon, Nee-chan," I told her.  "You have to face this sooner or later.  You can't just lay around in a funk for another day.  Talk it out with me.  It'll make you feel better."

She exhaled, and then turned onto her back, holding up the plushie and staring at it.  "Messenger-san, have you ever let any of your friends down?"

"Of course.  Who hasn't?"

"But really, really let them down?  Like...they were counting on you to do something for them and they put all their trust in you to do it, and even though you tried, even though you wanted to do everything you could for them, and you still ended up letting them down because you messed up...you know how bad that feels, right?"

"Um...I guess.  I can't remember a specific time, but I can imagine that it'd feel pretty bad."

She didn't look at me.  Just kept staring at the plushie.  "And what if the person you let down was your only real friend?"  She hugged the plushie to her and murmured something like "Gomana sigh, Slendy-kun."

...how do you react to something like that?  To someone who tells you that the closest thing to a "real friend" that she has is a suited, tentacled, faceless thing that goes around killing people?  I mean, I can see why she might irritate people (and see it pretty damn clearly, as well), but she's not completely unlikable, is she?  She has to have had at least a few friends in her lifetime, hasn't she?

Anyway, I told her that The Boss probably wasn't mad, and that he knew that she tried.  She said she knew, but that it didn't make her feel much better.  Still, it seemed to reassure her hearing it from someone other than me.  I stopped talking to her after that, but about half an hour later, she started walking around some.  She wasn't done pouting, but she came and told me her side of the story and explained again how exactly she found out about the wedding.  She's not back to her normal overly-cheerful self, but at least she's not going comatose anymore.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-