Sunday, July 3, 2011

Wrapping a few things up

Things have been...busy lately.  I haven't had much time to tie up the loose ends of a few things I'd like to tie up, and there are a few more threads dangling now that I should probably at least mention.

First of all, I'm back to work, hacking blogs and the like.  I've got a Report that's actually overdue, so I'll be getting that done today.  Basically, it's back to the grind.  I guess my 4th of July weekend early.  No fireworks for me this year.  Not like I want to see anything exploding after the last few days.

Secondly, apparently Poe has a blog now.  I'm not sure why exactly she started it, and I haven't gotten the chance to ask her, just because I haven't even seen her or talked to her since that night that Caper died.

And while I'm on that subject, Poe, I'm so terribly sorry.  I wasn't thinking when I wrote that thing about you being a cute drunk.  Forgive me.  You're attractive when you're not drunk too, and I think that that maybe sounds worse but what I meant was that it was just nice to see you smile and loosen up for once and that you really do act cute when you're drunk.  And I'm just digging myself into a deeper hole, but I hope you know what I mean.  Also, the comment about the beer goggles?  I'm stupid.  Ignore it.  I can't believe I said that.

And one more quick note: I looked back through the comments and...I think it was Hakeri Ryuu who called me Alan.  I'm...really not sure how to react to that.  I think I'd prefer id you didn't call me by my real name.

But anyway.  The big issues now.  First of all, Kyle.  He's stopped reading my blog, now that his curiosity's been satisfied.  Let me explain a bit more.  That story, naturally, was a bit dramatized and doesn't perfectly parallel actual events, though it's close enough that I feel like I can say it's true or accurate.  The little flaws were basically just so Kyle assumed I was telling a story.  Anyway, he's making a vlog about the Slender Man with his friends.  It's not up yet, because the project's still in the early stages, and they're apparently writing the story and filming it all before adding any sort of effects (most of them suck at video editing and want some practice) so that they can just sit back and release it all at leisure.  They all think it's still just some fun game.  I gave them that opportunity.  Kyle's protected, and everyone around him is also protected, just so he suspects nothing.  I know that The Boss may eventually break the deal, but he's stuck by his word so far.  Of course, all this means that I'm all still pretty new to this.  I started blogging less than a month before I joined, and before that, I had only seen Marble Hornets.  So I'm learning.  Hyde gave me summaries of a few major blogs and vlogs, since he'd been around for longer than I had, and that helped a lot.  But yeah, that's the story with Kyle and how exactly I got involved in all of this.  Happy?

And finally, reflections on Caper's death.  It's been hard, I won't lie.  He's been the best friend I've had here so far, and right when we started opening up to each other more, he went and died.  Well...he probably would have never opened up, because according to Poe, even she doesn't know his real story.  I guess we'll never know.  I can only imagine how hard this must be on Poe.  I mean, they were together for, what, half a year?  And they were always so close.  Like I said, until that night, I'd never seen Poe outside of Caper's presence.  I feel like I should go talk to her about it, but I feel like she'd take it the wrong way, especially after what I wrote yesterday.  If she needs to say something, I guess she'll say it on her blog.

But yeah.  I'd like to just use the rest of this post to take a moment of silence for Caper.  I'm sorry I didn't answer when it mattered, but I have one now: I don't think you're a bad person.  I wish I knew, but I really don't think that you are.

Goodbye, Caper.  I'll miss you.

Well, back to the daily grind.  Maybe working will take my mind off of things.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-


  1. heh. you're more well-adjusted than most people i run into. but you can't reveal your name and expect people not to use it when it kinda looks like you're in some kind of danger. i can easily understand WHY you wouldn't want to be called that, but hiding your name is the first step to losing your identity. you were the one wondering about "William", after all. i'm pretty sure this is how it starts.

  2. I wonder... I wonder why you work for your boss, fully knowing how he is. Is it because you're granted your life in exchange for your services to him? Or is it for some other reason?

    I ask you now, Messenger: What are you willing to risk to ensure this doesn't happen again? Trust me, and I can know you already suspect as much, that your boss will do it again. You said it yourself in this entry, that he will eventually break his word.

    Maybe you think that you are protecting those close to you by doing his bidding, but how sure can you be that it's going to be that way? How much can you be sure that you're not going to be betrayed when you're useless to him?

    I may sound harsh and uncaring to your loss, but this is made just for you to understand the extent of the events that just happened in your life, in order for you to choose your real path and not just one predefined by someone who can backstab you at any moment.

    Maybe I just know nothing at all. I'm a new face in this whole deal, after all. Still, this is my attempt to understand everything that just happened to you.

  3. Wow. I'm sorry about Caper. Losing people sucks.
    I know you probably don't want the advice of some random asshole on the internet, but go talk to Poe. I bet you could both use the company right about now.

  4. It's ok about the comments. I didn't actually notice. You think I'm cute? Or are you just saying that because you think I would be mad if you didn't? Because I wouldn't. If you do, that's nice. You don't have to think it's required to think that I'm cute though, because it isn't.

    Oh, I'm just being ridiculous right now. What I meant was that I'm not offended.

    Thank you for that moment of silence. I miss him.

  5. I hate that you have to work through the mourning, while doing more and more of that job reporting other people deaths.