Saturday, October 8, 2011

My Ex-roommate is Completely Batshit

I think the title pretty much sums up the situation.

Earlier today, Screwtape stopped by.  Knocked on the door.  Seemed pretty urgent.  I opened the door and let him in.

"Messenger, Raven," he said, "Follow me to my apartment.  We need your help."

"What's going on?"

He looked at me and shook his head.  "You still know so little about your old roommate.  Just please, follow me."

So we followed him down the hall to the room.  Last time I had been there was...a while ago, I guess.  I might be remembering this wrong, but I don't think I'd been down to the room since that night Caper died.  But I don't want to get into that now because it brings up all sorts of bad memories and it's not important anyway.

As we got closer, I heard yelling and screaming.  Always a good sign.  Screwtape opened the door to reveal the apartment.  Remember how when The Boss tossed Caper around, the apartment was kind of a mess afterwards?  Well, evidently, he's more careful than Nee-chan, because the place was ripped up.  Nee-chan was storming around the apartment, pounding on walls, slashing at the furniture with a knife, throwing things was bad.

Poe and I just sort of stood there in shock for a few seconds.  "When she found out about Morningstar's death she was...upset," Screwtape said.

There were these two guys about her age, maybe a little older, sort of scrambling around the apartment, unsure of how to deal with the situation, sort of shouting at each other.  Kid with glasses and a ginger.  Ginger told Glasses Kid to grab her and hold her back.  Glasses Kid shouted back how he was trying but "she's waving around a freakin' knife, man!"  He ducked a second later as a drinking glass shattered against the wall above his head.

Screwtape turned to us.  "Raven, try talking to her to get her attention.  Messenger, we'll get behind her and grab her arms.  You take left arm, I'll take right arm.  Right arm first so that the knife is out of commission.  I'll let the other two know to grab her legs once we have the arms restrained."

I just nodded.  He sounded like he knew what he was doing.  As Nee-chan walked into the bathroom and started shouting at the mirror, Screwtape briefed Glasses and Ginger.  And I just sat there for about three minutes as she screamed at herself.  During those three minutes, between bouts of "holy shit I am dealing with someone who has gone off the deep end," something occurred to me.

"Screwtape," I yelled, "Why is Poe the one distracting Nee-chan?  You're using her as bait, aren't you?"

"Theta hasn't arrived, and she has the strongest connection with Nee-chan," he said.  "Plus, she's the most expendable of us." 

Right.  Of course.  Bastard.  She was standing right there, too.  But Nee-chan chose that moment to come out of the bathroom, so Poe just sort of...called her name, I guess.  Said something to briefly distract her.  Worked well enough.  Screwtape got ahold of her right arm, and got her to drop the knife in a matter of seconds, while I tried to grab onto her left arm.  Her flailing hit me in the face a few times.  Shins are bruised now from the kicking.  Glasses took a foot to the face as he tried to hold her down.  We got her on the floor and just sort of pinned her down.  The whole time she just kept yelling about how she was going to "fucking kill that stupid bitch."  Those words made up probably about 50%  of what she said, actually (the rest of it consisted largely of "Morningstar," and about five Japanese words I don't remember and didn't understand), although it was mostly incoherent.

We sat there for ten minutes.  Ten minutes of her screaming, sobbing, and struggling underneath us.  Screwtape and Ginger seemed to know what they were doing, but Glasses and I were kind of holding on for dear life.  And Poe just sort of stepped back into a corner of the room and froze up.  But Nee-chan would just sort of cycle between screaming, sobbing, and then falling silent and just breathing heavily.  And then screaming again, her torso and head writhing as she tried to get free.  It's...I don't even know how to describe it.  I can't do it justice.  She had four people pinning her down and I still felt like she was the one in control.

But at the end of the ten minutes, Theta showed up.  Looked at Screwtape, and said just a few words.  "Did you tell Jacob?"  Screwtape nodded, and he just responded with "good," before walking over, reaching down, and pressing somewhere on Nee-chan's neck.  Pressure point or something, I guess, because she lost consciousness almost instantly.  Screwtape and Ginger stepped back.  It took me a bit longer to feel safe letting go.  Glasses was still gripping her leg, and his face looked like it was going white at that point.  But I guess I shouldn't point fingers, since I probably wasn't looking much better.  Theta picked her up, hoisted her over a shoulder, and carried her to a back room (her bedroom I guess, probably).  He came out, turned to Screwtape, and told him that he'd be staying for a few days.  Screwtape didn't raise any objections or seem even remotely bothered by announcement. 

Anyway, Screwtape turned to the rest of us.  "Thank you," he said.  "You've been a great help tonight.  Except for you, Raven, but I didn't expect you to be pulling your weight at this point."  I swear, Theta was the only thing keeping me from beating his ass into oblivion.

But yeah, no reports today (I've got Morningstar's to write up now, too) because I've been too busy with all that shit.  Sorry to let you all down.  I'll try to get one or two of them up tomorrow.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-


  1. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd sympathize with fucking Nee-chan. Do me a favor and tell her... Tell her he was sorry to leave her behind.

  2. They just started dropping like flies eh? Must have been that first snow...

  3. ... it doesn't matter which side you're on.
    Losing someone hurts.
    If only everyone else could see that...

  4. Oh my god.
    I-I feel so sorry for her.

  5. @spencer i see it. and i hate it.
    and for what its worth messi, you have my sympathies.

  6. Messenger, you can promote your perception of things as much as you want to, but let me remind you that Raven was of absolutely no help. She caught Nee-chan's attention for perhaps a second and then did nothing else. Do not let your bias towards her and against me affect you. You know as well as I did that she did nothing but take up space that night. She could have at very least spoken to Nee-chan to attempt to calm her down. Only fitting, since dolls are quite well known for being able to comfort children.