Interview with Zombie

Hey, everyone remember Muad'Dib?  You know, the pilot?  Remember his ginger roommate, Zombie?  Well, I decided to try to at least talk to him.  He ended up agreeing to an interview, interestingly enough.

Anyway, I knocked on their apartment door, and he answered.  He's a tall guy, a few years younger than me.  Really pale and really quiet, although I guess I'm not one to judge.

Messenger: Hey, uh...Zombie, right?  [He nodded, not saying anything]  Um...not sure we've actually met before.  I'm The Messenger.  Poe's roommate.  ...Don't know if you know Poe, either.

Zombie: I know her. How is she?

M: Uh...she's...she's doing okay.  Been better, but I think she's doing better than she has been recently.  Um...you mind if I come in for a bit?  [He nodded and let me in]  Uh...there's this thing I kind of like to do.  It's, um...sort of an interview.  I interviewed Muad'Dib the other day, and was wondering if you'd mind if I interviewed you.

Z: Why me?

M: Because.... [It was a good question, actually]  I don't know.  Why not?  I've interviewed everyone who's agreed to it.  Muad'Dib, Nee-chan, Poe...Caper....

Z: I see. I don't see why not then.

M...Thanks, I guess.  So it's Zombie, right?  What made you choose that name?

Z: I didn't. Muad'Dib did. My first name's Rob.

M: ...You let Muad'Dib choose your-- [My brain suddenly connected what exactly he just said]  Rob.  So Rob Zombie, then.  And you just...were okay with this.

Z: I couldn't think of a nickname of my own. Zombie works well enough.

M: All right, well, um...how long have you been involved in all this, Zombie?

Z: Seven months two weeks five days. If you want specifics.

M: That's...not even as long as me.  Huh.  Expected longer.  Anyway, how exactly did you get involved in the first place?

Z: It's complicated.

M: Uh...okay.  Care to elaborate just a bit more, or are you just gonna leave it at that?

Z: I was studying to become a doctor. My roommate was... I don't remember. A film major maybe? A teacher assigned some homework and he started getting a little odd.

M: I...think I see where this is going.  [He never elaborated or came back to it, but it was a Marble Hornets story, most likely.

Z: They recruited me. For my talents.

M: Okay, I guess that leads into my next question pretty well.  What are your talents?  What exactly is it you do?

Z: I like to think of myself as an interrogator.

M: Um...okay?  Not quite sure I follow.  What exactly do you mean by that?

Z: I'm a torturer.

[This...threw me for a bit, I'll admit.  Caught my off guard.  Pretty sure it showed on my face, and it took me a few seconds just to choke out the stupid response I did.]

M: ...Oh. [He just nodded once] That's, uh...oh.

Z: Do you have any more questions?

M: Um...against my better judgement, yes.  Um...why, exactly?

Z: Why what?

M: Uh...why exactly do you do it?  Torture?  I mean, it's...it can't be easy.  Unless it's fun for you, in which case, um....

Z: I don't really have a choice.

M: Can I ask why not?

[He'd been pretty calm and collected the entire time, not showing much emotion.  As soon as I asked him that, though, he started looking really uncomfortable and anxious, like he was about to have some sort of breakdown.  He looked down as he answered]

Z: They have my sister.

M:  [After a few seconds, I put my hand on his shoulder as a...gesture of comfort or something along those lines]  I know how you feel.  I'm here instead of my brother.

Z: Not to try to be difficult, but you hack computers don't you? Hardly the same as causing others pain. This is not what I studied to do.

M: What...what did you study to do, exactly?

Z: A doctor. I mentioned that already. I was quite good. Or so I've been told.

M: So...I'm guessing that you've...got a lot of regrets, huh?  Um...how do you deal with it?

Z: Muad'Dib helps. And I read a lot. Watch crime dramas. Take myself out of it as much as I can.

M: I guess it would help to have someone as optimistic as Muad'Dib around, yeah.  [silence] So, um...anything else you'd like to share?

Z: [Just like that, he was calm and collected again] What do you need to know?

M: Um...the only thing I can think of is asking for more details on your job and I'm...not particularly eager to dive more in-depth into that.

Z: [He nodded] Is Poe still using the ointment I gave her?

M: Um...I...don't know.  I haven't noticed one way or another, and this is the first I've heard about it.  What sort of ointment?

Z: For her cuts. She really can't run the risk or them getting infected.

M: [It didn't click until I was transcribing my recording that I hadn't known Poe had any cuts.]  Ah, right.  Um...he...doesn't send her to you, does he?  Screwtape?

Z: Those cuts are one of my specialties, though. And he doesn't leave the room like some of the others.  He must be learning from me.

M: The room?

Z: My room. When I work. Most people find it uncomfortable. Screwtape always watches.

M: [My hands balled up into fists at this point.  The bastard is...sick.  Disturbing]  Ah, right.  Um...thanks.  For the ointment and everything.  I'll make sure she uses it.  [he nodded] Well...thanks for talking with me.  I appreciate it.

[He nodded again, and I excused myself from the room.  Make of all that what you will.]