Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Caper Tape

I thought I had Caper figured out.  I really thought I had Caper figured out.  And I thought I had Poe figured out, too.  I guess that I still don't know much about either of them.

The DVD showed up.  Poe and I were both out.  I distinctly remember locking the door before I left.  And when I came back, the door was still locked, but the DVD was sitting on my keyboard.  Bastard has access to my apartment as well.  Waited until Poe came back to watch.  Popped the DVD in (a DVD player is something that I actually had on hand because, you know, it's not obsolete technology yet) and sat down on the couch with her.  Started the video up, and a man came in and started chatting with Caper.

I felt Poe tense up.  Then she stood up and left the room.

She headed into her bedroom.  Naturally, I followed, because I had no clue what the hell was going on.

M: Poe?  Something wrong?

P: No, I...nothing's wrong.

M: You need something, or...look, why'd you leave?  I know you want to see this.

P: No, it's fine, I--

M: That's a fucking lie and we both know it.  Poe, you basically cut off contact with everyone for a month after he died.  I know how much you miss him.  Now why the hell don't you want to see the tape? [silence]  Look, I'm going back in there to watch it, and if you're not--

P: No!  I...

M: ...what?

P:  ...I've seen it already.  Kind of.  I know what happens.  I...I was there.

M: So it's still that tough to see him, huh?  Look, I can watch it on my own if you want....

P: No, I...I don't want you to...I'm sorry.  I should have told you....

M: Poe...what's going on?

P: Messi, I...I'm sorry.  I don't want to watch this.  And I really don't want you to watch this.  But you need to know the truth.  I'm sorry, I'll...let's, uh, just go back and watch it.

I was curious.  Worried.  Confused.  But I headed back, and started watching the DVD again.  On it, there were two things: a video, and an audio file.  I'm not putting the video up for privacy reasons (also because I'm not entirely sure what video host wouldn't take it down) but I am going to get the audio file up so you can download it.  I'll explain that in a post a bit later, as well as provide a transcript.  But for now, I'm putting up a transcript of the tape.

Caper's Tape

Inside Caper and Poe's aparment.  The two are both there, just milling around.  A large man enters.  Caper looks up as he does.  Poe continues to sort of sit in the background.

C: Helios!  Hey, how's it going?
Helios: Hello, Caper.  I take it the assignment went well?

C: Sure did!  Managed to get some security footage that we can use to ID the girl.  We're working on finding out her name now.  Hope you appreciate the work we put in this time to make your job easier.

H: We always do.  You and your partner are quite good at this.

C: Oh, we're not that good, are we, Poe?  [He looks back at Poe.  Poe just looks back at him.]  Okay, well, we are pretty good, but you and Theta aren't bad yourselves.  How's he doing, by the way?

H: Well, he's Theta.  I don't really think I need to elaborate.

C: [Laughing] Good point, man.  Hey, you want something to drink?  I just made some coffee.  You're a coffee guy, aren't you, H?

H: No, I'm fine, thank you.

C: C'mon, man, I insist!  It's black, and it's freshly brewed.  I know you like black coffee.

H: [Smiling] I suppose so, then.  But we should really get down to business now.

[Caper walks to a pot of coffee and pours two cups.  He walks back to Helios and hands him the cup.]  Yeah, that'd probably be best.  Let's see's the DVD with the security footage we got.  Here are some files with the information we've managed to get on the girl so far.  Um...hey, Poe, could you go print off the final entry on that one blog?

P: I thought you already printed it off.

C: [He looks at her, and he looks...incredibly serious.  More so than I ever saw him.]  Poe.  Go print it off.  Please.  [At this point while we were watching, Poe gripped my arm.]

H: [Helios starts looking through the papers as Poe leaves the room.]  Good job, Caper.  This is some solid information.  The Tall One will no doubt be pleased.

C: Thanks, H.  How's the coffee, by the way?

H: It's...I dunno.  It's pretty good.  Something tastes a bit off.  How old are the beans you used?

C: Oh, yeah, sorry about that.  Oh, hey, can I see those again for a second?  [Helios hands the papers and DVD back]  Thanks.  You mind if I smoke?

H: You don't smoke....

C: I knew you wouldn't mind.  [He pulls out lighter and puts the flame to the papers, dropping them in the sink.]  Huh.  Whoops.  Sorry about that, H.  But if I guess that if the fire damage doesn't eat through the whole thing, the water damage should finish the job.  [He takes the DVD and snaps it in half.  Helios stands up quickly.]

H: What the hell are you doing, you idiot?  You're...ungh....  

[He grips his head and starts to sway.  Caper walks around and casually shoves the man to the ground.]

C: Helios, old chum, what's wrong?  Feeling a bit woozy?  That's odd.  Although it maybe has something to do with the drugs I slipped into your coffee.

H: You....

C: See, I knew I'd never be able to take you in a fair fight.  Problem is, I can't let you and Theta go after that girl.  She's just a kid.  Wait until she's older.  If the Big Guy wants her now, he'll go back and get her now.  But right now?  I dunno.  I guess I just can't let her die.  And you're kind of standing in the way of that.  So now I'm standing in the way of you.  And now that you can't fight back...well, you're not such an intimidating obstacle anymore.  [He takes his foot and gently presses it into Helios's throat.]  So, tell me, H, how do you normally kill people?  Ever tried asphyxiation?  It's pretty fun.  Watching as someone struggles to gain consciousness, fighting for fresh air that never comes?  Seeing the light go out of their eyes as they slowly glaze over?  Sure, it's not as quick and easy as a knife to the throat or a bullet to the brain, but it doesn't even leave a mess.  I'm sorry it had to be like this, Helios.  I've enjoyed chatting with you over the years.  In fact, you're one of my favorite acquaintances.  But it's her or you right now.  And she deserves better than you do.

[He stands there for a while, just pressing his foot into Helios's throat.  Then he bends over, grabs his wrist to check for a pulse, and steps back before turning around.  He pauses as he sees someone out of the camera shot.]

C: ...You know I told you to print it off so that you wouldn't see this, don't you?  Why'd you watch?  [Silence]  ...Well, I guess this is an early goodbye, huh?  I'm fucked now.  [More silence]  I don't suppose you'd like to help me finish the coffee off, would you?  [Another silence, followed by faint footsteps.]  Yeah, didn't think so.

End Caper's Tape

Other file going up later tonight, after I've had some time to transcribe it.


  1. How protective of him, to hurt with one hand and help with the other.

  2. Yep. Caper signed his own death certificate with that one. Trouble is, he knew he was doing it.

  3. Oh my f*****g god, man. That was... pretty disturbing.

  4. You censor yourself? What the hell?