Sunday, September 25, 2011

A Talk with Big Brother

Where did we leave off?  Oh, yes, I remember now.  I got a call from Big Brother.  The guy who's been sending me tapes.  Always pleasant talking to the guy who may or may not be watching me sleep.

But a thing or two first, quickly.  The Glass Man died the other day.  I'm putting a report together that'll probably go up tomorrow or the next day.  If you don't know who Glass is, I guess you'll find out then, because I'm not going to bother telling you now.  Also, Nee-chan came over again yesterday.  After two weeks of the "we've been busy" excuse, things finally cooled down enough that we can stand being in the same room as her.  I have no clue how Poe could stand sitting on the same couch as her but then again, I guess she's more used to this sort of thing than I am.  Also her hair is blue now apparently...?  It's been a few weeks, I guess, but...I don't know.  I feel like I should have known about that.

And because you people apparently care so much and keep saying that I'm getting defensive or whatnot, I should probably at least clear up what's going on between Poe and myself.  I've got her permission to post this, and it's clear that you people aren't going to shut up until I do.  Basically, early last week, we had a talk about the fact that you people think that there's obviously something between us, and...well, okay, there are feelings, and they're kind of mutual, but...the situation is a really tricky one.  You have to remember that she was Caper's partner for six months, that Caper had done who knows how much for her, and then remember that the two of them never actually pursued a relationship.  Neither of us is sure that this is the right thing, or even a good thing at all.  Basically, we don't want to risk anything at the moment.  Satisfied?  Good.

Anyway, here's the call transcript.

B: Ah, Mr. Messenger!  What a surprise!

M: You called me.

B:  Did I, now?  Huh.  Imagine that.

M: What do you want?

B: Oh, just checking in to see how you're doing.

M: Chances are you know exactly how I'm doing.  Did you know that I've started taking a blanket into the bathroom with me to shit under?

B: Messi, Messi, Messi...why the paranoia?  You didn't find any bugs, did you?

M: No, but who's to say I didn't miss them?  Or that they've been removed and put back?

B: Oh, Messenger.  You're so cute when you're paranoid.  But what about the tapes?  What did you think?  Personally, I liked the Nee-chan series more, but it all comes down to taste.

M: Okay, I'll bite.  What's the purpose?  Making me admit that the people I'm surrounded by are crazy?  Good job!  You win.  What now?

B: You've got it all wrong, Little Brother.

M: That's not the reference--

B: Messenger, you keep asking why you're evidently one of the "bad guys."  You think that you've made the right choice and that everyone must have reasons as good as yours.  You see the world in shades of gray.  Noe one's a hero.  No one's a villain.  But come on, Mr. Funeral.  You saw those tapes.  People aren't who you think they are.  And while you may be right about there being shades of grey, some shades are darker than others.  And...well, let's face it, Messenger.  Your Boss doesn't wear a white suit.

M: Your point?

B: You're not one of the good guys, Messi.  You need to drop this pretension.  You're on the side that, statistically, is a bit less morally just.  Tell me, why exactly are you on this side again?

M: Because my brother--

B: Don't feed me that line.  What's the other reason?

M:  ...Because it's safer.  It's safer to work for him than to work against him.

B: Now, don't you think that's a bit selfish?

M: Okay, look, I still don't see your point.

B: One of these days, Messenger, you're going to have to make a choice.  You'll have reason to run.  You'll have reason to stay.  And when you make that choice, you need to know what you're getting into.  It's not a fair choice if you don't know your options.

M: So you want me to become a runner.

B: No, no no no.  Not at all.  Not necessarily.  Think of this a test.  One that you've passed.

M: I've passed?

B: Well, you've seen what Nee-chan and Poe are like.  What Caper was like.  And yet, you still feel comfortable enough to stay.  You know what you're in for, and you're still around.

M: So, um...great?  I don't know what you want me to say.  Give me my diploma or something.

B: Ah, but you still have the secondary education to complete, Messi.  Have you ever met Theta?  Nee-chan's partner?

M: No.  What does that have to do with anything.

B: Oh, you'll see.  You should ask Nee-chan to introduce the two of you sometime.  Get to know a few more of your neighbors and co-workers.  Oh, and one more thing.

M: Yeah?

B: That Poe girl seems nice.  Good luck with that.

[And then he hung up as I started cursing]

So I talked with Nee-chan when she came over, and she's going to introduce me to Theta.  I guess I'll find out what he's like next Saturday.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-


  1. Awwwwww you see that? He just wants to make us all friends. Help bring us all together, I'll bring the green bean casserole! Let's have a godforsaken FAMILY PICNIC!!!!

  2. Hello, I'm Marcus Prendergast, long-time reader, first-time commenter (I think, don't hold me to that).

    Quick question while I'm in a good enough mood to maintain my pompous, condescending facade; do you people do themes? Because almost everyone in your little group seems to be a literary reference. If I go further south will I find a group of minions with names like La Paz and Santiago?

  3. Well, your Orwellian observer seems amiable enough. I agree with him by the way; your resolve is incredible.

  4. i know right? we have monsters like morning star and Andromeda doing hell face turns, we have runners going on a killer spree (hi Zero and KK) and still messy is strong in his conviction... truly a pity.

    Oh well, stay safe darling, you know how cray cray some runners are about people working under His command

  5. ... Holy fuck. Do I really sound like that?
    I want to meet this guy; though in the pompous bastard dick waving contest I'm usually the winner.

    As it stands, Messenger, seems you're treading on dangerous ground.

    "Tests" are never good news.

    Or should I say "Trials"...?

  6. Man, even Big Brother's trying to play matchmaker with you and Poe. Ouch.

  7. Man, that gotta suck, if that guy plays matchmaker, too. Anyways, be wary.

  8. @Marcus: I really don't know. For one thing, Big Brother's just the nickname I've given him. Don't know what he really goes by. As for the rest, I guess that literary references are one of the more common sources for the Pretentious Bullshit Names that everyone seems so fond of (Note: I am not talking about your name, Poe. It is a very pretty name that suits you well and you have perfectly legitimate reasons for choosing it). Other common sources seem to be mythology, foreign words, ancient foreign words, or just normal English words that sound symbolic.

    We're a really creative bunch, huh?

    -Don't Shoot The Messenger-

  9. Then It's decided! From now on, (To promote originality) I shall be known as Bottle!