Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Picking up the Pieces

It's been a few days now.  A few days since the woman I loved ceased to be.  Her body may still function.  But Annabel?  Poe?  Whoever she ultimately was?  She's gone.  I have to face the fact that she's never coming back.

I killed her.

It's all my fault.

And now I have to give up.  Eddie's told me there's no hope for her anymore.  And I don't want to believe him.  But this is his job, and he's been around for longer than I have.  I have to trust his word on this.  So I've written up a eulogy for her and posted it to her blog.

I never cried.

Not once.

I don't think I have tears to cry anymore.  I killed them long ago.  I just feel dead inside.  Even more dead than usual now.

When Caper died, the two of us spent the night drinking together.

She's gone, and I spent the night drinking alone.

And the day.

And the next night.

You get the picture.

Nee-chan came by to try to cheer me up.  I didn't let her in.  She's all I really have left here but I didn't let her in.

So I have to forget her.  I have to forget that I killed her so that I can stand to live with myself.

It's time to move on.

Elaine's dead.  I have a report to write.

-Don't Shoot The Messenger-


  1. That feeling? That's how I feel, every day of my life. It's a sad way to live. I know I told you you deserved this, but.. no one does.

    I'm sorry for all your pain. I'm so, so sorry..

  2. ....I am so sorry, Messenger. I wish I was around to offer support sooner.

    I'm really, truly, completely sorry

  3. Oh Get over it. You can't tell me you didn't see SOMETHING like this happening. People involved in this are destined for despair and grief. One would have thought you would know that better than anyone, Mr. Funeral. Why did you let her get close?
    Or was it YOU that got close to her? Oh... That would be even worse wouldn't it? You know what happens when people get close around here...
    One thing I do have to give you credit for. You are perhaps the most selfish bastard I have ever seen. It's all "Me, me, me, me, me" with you isn't it? It would be the merciful thing to just... End Her misery. End this existence. Awww... But you can't, can you? You need your little crutch too much to let go.

    1. Why don't you do everyone a favor and stay dead?

      -Don't Shoot The Messenger-